Today Is National Rum Day. What’s Your Favorite Fakey Foodoliday?

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Did you know August 29 is National Lemon-Juice Day? What are you planning on doing? We don’t get off work, but I’m thinking of taking it as a personal day. You know, to show how much I really really like lemon juice.

Hardly a day goes by that I don’t get an urgent e-mail telling me about some fake holiday foodies should be celebrating. Often, it’s not just a single day, but an entire month. And invariably, announcement of the holiday comes with heavy promotion of a commercial product.

It’s the tiredest meme in the ad biz: Hype your product by pretending to promote something else for which your product is made to seem indispensable.

Does Spice Islands have trouble peddling its doubtlessly awful Smokey Mesquite Seasoning? Promote National Bratwurst Day and suggest it should be part of the fun.

News about Lemon-Juice Day came from Weber Grills. (As if they needed any promotion. What are you going to buy instead? The Egg?) They apparently want you to do more grilling when Lemon-Juice Day rolls around each year, not just to make use of your (already paid for) Weber, but so you can use a new Weber line of marinades. Do you trust a company that forges metal objects to make something you soak food in? Not really.

You know what day it is today? National Rum Day. Do you have some rum with you at work? If so, take a swig in celebration.

And what have you been doing to observe National Sandwich Month, which has already been in full swing for all of August? Is your conscience clear that you’ve eaten enough sandwiches? News about the holiday was forwarded by reps for Spice Islands Dill Weed. Hey, if they keep calling it a weed, nobody’s gonna buy it.

Here are a few other national holidays, mainly sent to me by publicists and culled from my e-mail morgue. I’m sure they meant well. The sender behind the releases is included in parentheses, so you can judge the extent of their self-dealing.

For the foodolidays you’ve already missed, mark them on your calendar so you can at least throw a party next year.

Next: Important list of food-related holidays

February 22: National Margarita Day (Cabo Wabo Tequila)

March: Frozen-Food Month (CBS Foods’ Original Shrimp Burger)

March: National Nutrition Month (Hey Kids, Let’s Cook)

March: National Grilled-Cheese Month (National Nutrition Month)

April 26: National Pretzel Day (T.G.I. Friday’s)

May: National Hamburger Month (White Castle)

May: National Barbecue Month (Weber Original BBQ Sauce)

June 28: National Ceviche Day (Zengo restaurants)

July: National Picnic Month (Spice Islands Curry Powder)

July: National Blueberry Month (Krups blenders)

July: National Ice Cream Month (Artic Zero “Healthy” Ice Cream, and also Asellina restaurant, Dairy Queen, and a small kitchen appliance called Yonanas)

July 10: National Pina Colada Day (?)

July 15: National Ice Cream Day (Spice Islands Vanilla)

July 24: National Tequila Day (Zengo restaurants, Tequileria Maya restaurant)

August 3: National Watermelon Day (Highpoint Bistro & Bar, Zengo restaurants)

August 16: National Bratwurst Day (Spice Islands Smokey Mesquite Seasoning)

August 16: National Rum Day (Touted by Huffington Post)

September: National Honey Month (Honeydrop Peach Tea)

December 9: National Hot-Chocolate Day (La Biblioteca and a consortium of bars)

I thought I’d made a great collection of foodolidays, but then I stumbled on this authoritative reference. Take some time and page through it.