Reader: Sex, Sure, But Where Is the Love?

Letter of the Week

Re Rachel Kramer Bussel's "Like a Virgin" [Lusty Lady, October 25–31]: You don't value intimacy. It makes no sense to be more timid about sleeping with someone you actually love than sleeping with a stranger. What do you have to offer when it's time to commit to someone you actually love? Nothing but the fun of telling them about all the people you fucked whom you didn't care about. Control yourself until you're ready to commit so you can really feel special about having sex with someone you love.

Flirting: Staring at the car in the lot.

Hugging: Getting in and testing out the comforts.

Kissing: Starting her up.

Sex: A reckless drive on a rocky road, chipping the paint, over-revving the gears, scaring the fuck out of the salesman. Bringing her back with well over a hundred miles on the odo. Moral of the story: Buy it before you drive it. It won't sell as well after it's been driven into the dirt.

James D.
Bensalem, Pennsylvania


MF'ing shame

Ben Westhoff's "Private Enemy" [November 8–14] left me feeling sad and angry. When will the hate stop? What will it take for men of color to understand the need for unity, peace, and love? Why has the worship of money become greater than the value of God? How many bullets will it take for men of color to kill the hate for each other? Unless we learn to respect each other, all the money in the world has no value without "doing unto others as we would have done unto our- selves." MF Doom, MF Grimm, when does it stop, when we are all dead, in jail, or in wheelchairs?

Charles Barboza
Boston, Massacusetts

The photographs used to illustrate the story on rappers Grimm and Doom were just fabulous. They got me to read the piece. And that's what it's ultimately all about. Congratulations to the two photographers, especially David Yellen. I like to send out huzzahs when images get this good.

Sonia Katchia
Chapel Hill, North Carolina


Mopy dick

Re " Savage Love" [November 8–14]: CAP obviously knows very little about sex. I have a penis that's four and a half inches when fully erect. It's so not important how small my penis is. If you have a healthy attitude toward sex, penis to vagina sex should be about 10 percent of your lovemaking experience. Your penis can't satisfy your girlfriend? Big fucking deal. Do you have a tongue? Do you have fingers? Do you own a credit card to order a freaking vibrator? Spice up your lovemaking instead of complaining about how small your dick is.

Craig Renner
Round Top, New York

Having a little dick is a big deal, at least according to most women I talk to (I, thankfully, have a big dick), but there are some simple physical techniques that CAP and others can try that don't involve drugs or surgery. I'm a yoga instructor, and have found that certain yogic practices tend to increase the size of the penis noticeably. Also, the general emotional honesty that yoga promotes (a whole heart makes for a wholehearted penis) may in any case make him more attractive to everyone, including himself.

Rolf Pechukas
Leverett, Massachusetts


Film rebuff

I think you made a boo-boo in your ad for a film editor. People who read The Village Voice don't want film criticism "that appeals to the widest possible audience." Do you realize what appeals to the widest possible audience? Tim Allen movies, Carl's Jr. jalapeño poppers, and dogs biting a frisbee on YouTube. That's not what the Voice is all about. Call those smart people you fired and tell them you're sorry.

Matthew Wilder
Los Angeles, California


Lost in translasian

Re Vickie Chang's "Yellow Fever" [villagevoice.com, November 8]: Chang needs to get over herself. Women with big breasts deal with various fetish-sick men. Women will always have a certain number of men who hit on them for reasons they feel are fetish-related and men also have stories relating to fetishes that they attach to various ethnic attributes: Catholic schoolgirls and Jewish girls are oral experts, black women give it up, redheads are hot, etc. It must have felt nice to write the article that implied a sense of self-importance, but the truth is, you're just an average Asian chick who hasn't learned to get over the strange men that exist in the world.

Richard Franklin
San Diego, California

Chang's article was awesome and true. I'm a recent NYU graduate and originally from a small town, and was initially happy by the attention I received from white guys at school. Slowly, I started to realize that they just wanted to try me out, because they heard Asian chicks are good in bed. It's great when people like Chang come out and keep it real. Not every Asian girl has an accent and will screw you just because you're white. We were brought up in a culture that is based on Confucian values, but we also grew up going to school and being a part of American society. We're not subservient whores, we were just brought up with different values. This article was so true because it does hurt when people think you're exactly the same as another girl, and then think you should take it as a compliment.

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