To replace departed token overt conservative Billy Kristol, the New York Times has engaged rightblogger Ross Douthat of the The Atlantic. A colleagues kvells; the Times seems excited at how young their new columnist is (Only 29! Why, Scotty Reston was still a copy-boy at 29!) Douthat’s old archives at The American Scene, the publisher of his most hilarious material, appear to be scrubbed, but to get a sense of what you Times readers in for, here are some of his available greatest hits:
Douthat complains that liberal novelists won’t write about Republican heroes (“It suggests that there aren’t any interesting Republicans in our fiction not because Republicans aren’t interesting, but because our intelligentsia’s political prejudices blind them…”).
Douthat explains why he would vote for Diaperepublican David Vitter before he’d vote for Barack Obama (“Regretting the passing of a particular moral standard does not require one to always vote as if that standard were still in place”).
Douthat reasons that even sex-and-swears-soaked TV shows like The Sopranos are really conservative and evangelicals should watch them (“it’s clear that Lost ultimately shares with Battlestar Galactica a certain degree of cosmic optimism”).
Douthat bemoans the moral hazard posed by Jennifer Aniston’s waxed pubic hair (“As with breast implants, it’s another instance of modern women taking their sexual cues from pornography…”).
Douthat philosophizes on why, in his experience, women “have a certain amount of difficulty having orgasms.”
We could do this all day, but don’t want to spend another minute reviewing Douthat’s work. (Oh, okay, one more: here’s Douthat begging somebody to dig up another Bill Clinton sex scandal.) In short, he’s a little crazier than Kristol, not to mention much more Jesus-y, and his appointment will probably have the same galvanic effect on our culture as Michael Steele’s historic election to chairman of the RNC. Photo via The Atlantic.