Breaking: Manholes Are Exploding in Midtown, Which Has Yet to Go 72 Hours Without Crazyass Explosive Threats This Week (Updated)


Updated! If it’s not one thing, it’s another. Seeing as how our fair city failed to detonate a car bomb in the middle of Times Square this weekend, the swirling forces of chaos that give this city its unmistakable ‘elan’ have decided to retaliate by blowing shit up naturally.

Reports the New York Times‘ City Room:

An exploding manhole on West 40th Street in Midtown shot flames three stories high at 1:40 p.m. Monday, and at least one other manhole cover blew off, fire officials said. No injuries were immediately reported. After the explosion, a firefighter yelled: “It’s not Disneyland, people. Get the hell out of the way.”

Yeah, welcome to every day one has to go through midtown, where it should be legal for residents trying to make their way through the throngs of tourists to equip themselves with elbow pads to beat them out of the way. On the contrary, though: filled with tourists, things spouting fire, everything costs too much. It’s exactly like Disneyland, which is exactly like hell, which Times Square now basically is.

Times reporter Brian Stelter also noted from his Twitter:

And another shot, via Twitter. User Lee Overtree notes: “Immediately after this picture, a giant fireball 12 feet tall erupted from the smoking manhole in front of the drama book shop.”

Well, good to know: As if its mere existence weren’t enough to merit avoiding the war zone that is Times Square already, in light the fact that we have yet to go a full 72 hours without some kind of explosive threat in the neighborhood, you’d be smart to stay away for the time being.

Update: The AP is now reporting no injuries, and BNO is reporting that smoking cables caused the fire, but seriously, it’s like Die Hard 3 out there.

Also, I’m sorry, but it has to be done: