Brooklyn Man to Unleash Ultimate Suffering Upon BP by Way of Vuvuzela


A Brooklyn man who is no stranger to revenge (just guessing) has a diabolical plan to get BP where it hurts. Right in the oh-my-God-please-make-it-stop-SWARM-OF-BEES! SWARM OF BEES!

Buoyed by recent World-Cup-inferred knowledge of the vast powers of the vuvuzela, Adam Quirk & Co. has a grand plan to buy 100 vuvuzelas and hire 100 vuvuzela players off Craigslist to play in front of BP’s International Headquarters in London for an entire work day — or as many days as it takesthe vuvuzela players can stand it.

Are there 100 vuvuzela players on Craigslist? A quick check under “musicians” found nothing in the New York area, and no “vuvuzela services” in London either, but it might be something of a cottage industry. In any case, there’s an array of the colorful soccer horns available from an Andy in Bayridge — he’ll even ship them outside of Queens for $10.

Currently 221 folks have pledged to the cause for a total of $2,281, $1,000 of which will go to the Gulf Disaster Fund. The other $1,000 goes to torturing the poor folks outside of BP’s office, who probably don’t actually include Tony Hayward, but we like this idea enough to forgive that.

You can still pledge if you want, here, until July 7. Imagine this, unleashed in the streets of London. (Oh, don’t worry, Quirk’s gonna film the real thing.)