Scientology on the High Seas: Squirrel Cookery!

In November we started a new feature here on Fridays: the Voice has obtained hundreds of copies of L. Ron Hubbard’s previously unpublished “Orders of the Day,” which he gave to crew members as he sailed the Mediterranean. Our documents cover the period from late 1968 through 1971, and this time we’re looking at what was happening the week of January 29 through February 4 during those years.

After the jump, Hubbard explains how heretics can’t even follow a recipe…

[Confused? Go here for our primer, “What is Scientology?” For recent controversies in the church, check out our stories on Debbie Cook, secrets of the Super Power Building, and spying on Tom Cruise. We know these 40-year-old ship’s documents aren’t for everyone, but they’ve been giving us some interesting insights into the mind of Hubbard as he ran Scientology from a yacht in the Mediterranean. Check back here often for more breaking news about the church.]

1970

January 29

HAIRCUTS AND MINISKIRTS

All semblance of anything that could be called “Hippiness” must be eradicated for the next month.

Better get started now on haircuts and beard off or trim.

Be sure you haven’t only got miniskirts.

The PRO mock up for your next month is very proper personal appearance.

Clean cloths, clean braid, clean shirts for the officers. Lots of baths.

Sleek personal appearance is the watch word for the next month.

It fits in with why you are going on this cruise.

LRH, COMMODORE

1971

January 29: LRH, healer.

WINS

Down through the years since AD0, there have been an awful lot of case wins. The old AOA for instance was an avalanche of them. Earlier the Power wins and earlier the grades and so on back it goes.

The delayed response wins are the most heartening.

One of the first huge wins I ever had was in 48 in Hell’s Kitchen New York where a truck driver with an infected foot was about to suffer an amputation. They dragged him off to the hospital and I thought, well there it goes. But years later when Book I came out he wrote me, saying the hospital had been amazed, had not operated and he took the opportunity to thank me for still having his foot!

There have been other delayed action wins. A medical doctor in Birmingham that I made a long trip to see. He was in apathy, about to die. When I left it still looked hopeless. But a year later I met him coming out of the Registrar’s Office, HASI London, hale and hearty and he thanked me for his life.

So immediate wins are very heartening. You know about those. But sometimes you work and it doesn’t seem to come off and then years later you find it did it after all.

…

LRH, COMMODORE

January 30: A quick mention of the Celebrity Center…

STATS 28 JAN

Celebrity Center doing very well. GI Affluence Trend since last SEPT! How do you like that! Hats off and a highly commended to Diana H., Yvonne Gillham and all the crew!

…

LRH, COMMODORE

January 31: Smersh took its best shot, but LRH’s reputation in the press is soaring…

REPUTE

It is of interest to Scientologists that the clamor raised over the years by Smersh about me and all the hard names called have not even faintly affected my membership in various and numerous high level associations and scientific societies and clubs.

The list of these are quite long and all of them are a big “high and mighty” in the arts, sciences and social stratas.

I was just looking at my influx of magazines and notices of meetings and it struck me as rather funny that the highest of our detractors would give his back molars to be accepted into some of these groups.

I also hadn’t realized the list was so long. Most of them black ball first and think about it afterwards. Yet for twenty years they have been very serene.

So don’t get into the notion that the “power of the press” has any real bearing on the world. According to this testimony of personal repute, the opposition might as well have spent their time yelling into a well.

Thought it would be of some interest to you.

US and UK press and TV have been quite favorable lately.

Bolivar gets radio and TV press coverage like the presidential yacht. Bob Young does a marvelous job on this and he runs a very pretty ship.

(I wonder if anyone has told Bob he could fly the flag of West Coast Yacht Club, of which I am a long time member.)

So year by year the stats rise and reputation grows.

And during all this time my own personal repute has remained very high in the places that matter.

In the long view we are doing a very good job. Our only complaint is that we could do better and do it faster.

But remember, it IS getting done.

LRH, COMMODORE

February 2: Heretics can’t even get recipes right…

SQUIRREL ACTIONS

There is squirrel tech. In this an auditor runs off beat non-standard processes. We’ve long since handled this.

There is squirrel admin. People who have out admin TRs and do not know basic lines add to standard lines or knock them out. We are working to handle this with OEC, FEBC and Admin TRs now being done and further developed.

There is also squirrel cookery. This normally arises from not having the proper ingredients to hand (supply failure) and not having anyone to wash and slice and peel raw materials so they can be cooked. A standard meal comes from planned menu, correct supply, correct preparation of raw materials and following the exact recipe. From this comes edible meals.

This goes into other lines of tech as well.

…

LRH, COMMODORE

February 4: LRH can only conclude that Scientology is doing well after getting the final tally of his Christmas gifts.

CHRISTMAS MAIL

Odd time of the year to speak about Christmas. But in this case its a statistic.

Public Popularity increase over the world was very marked this last Christmas. The general public response was up very nearly 35 percent over previous years. The volume of public cards to me personally would indicate an increased popularity of Scientology by a full third!

Gifts were 40 – 45 percent higher than in previous years.

While it was joy from hearing from so many at the time, now in retrospect, it can be viewed as confirming a general public upsurge.

My hard working personal staffers here and in other areas were impressed with the increase. In previous years it was already enormous. My staffs work for many week after Christmas caring for the flow, the address corrections and tabulations and do an excellent job of it.

So the full picture is now in and the fact emerges. Public Popularity has increased a full third.

…

LRH, COMMODORE

That last item might be the saddest one we’ve excerpted so far. LRH, it is hard not to conclude, was simply a sad, lonely man. Am I wrong?

Tony Ortega is the editor-in-chief of The Village Voice. Since 1995, he’s been writing about Scientology at several publications.

@VoiceTonyO | Facebook: Tony Ortega

SCIENTOLOGY IN THE VILLAGE VOICE