The 18 Most Preposterously Quotable Lines From Riff Raff’s New Mixtape


The Houston-via-Hollywood rapper Riff Raff dropped a new mixtape over the weekend! Titled Summer of Surf, the album includes collaborations with Internet darlings Kitty Pryde, Chief Keef and Lil Debbie; Riff Raff himself contributes quite a few bizarre boasts, not to mention a song titled “Versace Python.” Here’s a handy primer on the project’s most preposterous lines.

18. “I live the life of a Tampax tampon/ Go to sleep leave the lights on.” (“Otis”)

17 “Rap game Julio Franco, Chuck Norris, Texas Ranger/ Ice on my fingers look like I slap-boxed a penguin.” (“Deoin Sandals”)

16. “My sandals are perpendicular.” (“Tatted Like A Biker Boy”)

15. “Why they acting like I ain’t bought the rice and pasta?/ Pull up at the club in a helicopter.” (“So Throwed”)

14. “Slapped a bitch on purpose and didn’t say sorry/ But I can play Atari through an African safari.” (“Cookie Crisp”)

13. “Candy fuchsia Buick/ Martha Stewart transmission fluid.” (“Jenny Craig”)

12. “So far from clear ’cause they resemble frozen lettuce/ 91 degrees out and buzzin’, you ever seen melted lime jello?” (“Orion’s Belt”)

11. “I used to turn boys to girls/ Now I pull up in the bowling bowl swirl/ I’m in bowling lanes.” (“Otis”)

10. “Used to drive a Porsche (Porsche Porsche) cayenne/ Traffic in Iran got my dodging trash cans.” (“Porsche Cayenne”)

9. “Butter-knife the chopper, razor blade the marg’/ I beg your pardon Olive Garden Aston Martin.” (“Squirt”)

Riff Raff & Kitty Pryde, “Orion’s Belt”

8. “When it comes to hateful words, I got skin like a rhinoceros/ Diamonds on my binder, fourth grade I was immaculate.” (“Orion’s Belt”)

7. “Swang a motorcycle/ Leaning like the Eiffel, tower.” (“Marc Jacobs”)

6. “I don’t want your girl ’cause she look like Jay Leno/ Never had a wife, oh no, not really. (“Deoin Sandals”)

5. “Perm-pressed hair smells like Sharon Stone/ Pluto-shaped ass, eyes made by White Castle.” (“You Never Know”)

4. “Pull up in the chariot with glow-in-the-dark Bart Simpson haircut.” (“You Never Know”)

3. “Bad yellow bitch by my feet changing my shoes/ And my shoelaces/ Very very abrasive/ Cut off the lace/ Look like Las Vegas.” (“Cookie Crisp”)

2. “Give me a screwdriver, I can start a Jag/ I done start a Lamborghini with a police badge.” (“Cookie Crisp”)

1. “With tactical air-brushed golden skin, unblemished physique/ Rap game Dawson’s Creek.” (“You Never Know”)

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