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Best Swinger Sites of 2021: Ultimate Guide to Finding Local Swingers Near You

Sponsored by: Pleasure Seeker

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Everyone appears to be getting laid on TV, social media, and in the movies… in real life, it’s actually kind of hard to find couples that are seriously looking for fellow swingers. 

The majority of couples just aren’t into it. Some only swing with their own friends, kind of a closed circle sort of thing. Then again, there ARE other swinging couples looking for dates…but locating these mysterious sexy strangers is a challenge. 

Here we look at the top 11 best swinger sites for finding open-minded people!

How We Chose the Top Swinger Dating Site

You may wonder, how did we figure out what sites to include?

We actually conducted a research project and registered for about 20 different swingers sites. Over the course of 25 hours or so, our profile and pictures got a lot of responses – and mostly from the top 5 sites on our list. 

For our Top 11 list that caters to swingers, open marriages, poly dating, and everything in between, we considered factors like members, dating app UI, response, quality of responders, intelligence of the conversation (indicating humans, not bots), and the number of swinger events or dates offered. 

By the end of this list, you might have one favorite swinger site that sticks out in your mind!

Top Swinger Sites in 2021

  1. AdultFriendFinder – Best place to find swingers overall
  2. SwapFinder – Sexy chat room with local swinger
  3. SwingLifeStyle – Meet friendly swinger couples
  4. Swingers Date Club – Best swingers clubs
  5. Reddit Swingers R4R – Meet swingers for free
  6. Seeking – Have a threesome easily
  7. Alt.com – Kinky open-minded dating site
  8. Ashley Madison – Find partners in open relationships
  9. Kasidie – Got to exciting swinger events
  10. Fetlife – Freakiest hookup partners
  11. Tinder – Fast way to meet new people

1. AdultFriendFinder – Largest Swinger Site

Pros

  • Search for a couple
  • Subgroups and fetishes to chat about kinks
  • Events, meetups, and contests for a community feel
  • 100 million members worldwide

Cons

  • Pretty high price, among the highest of any dating site

Starting back in 1996, Adult Friend Finder is the most well-known kinkster site online.

This adult dating site was matching up swingers and real-life gangbangs back when most of us were just discovering free porn for the first time. Adult Friend Finder also happens to have one of the most inclusive and open-ended searches of all dating sites.

It’s very handy!

You can look for couples, trans users, or groups, and designate your own sexual preferences. Even more interesting is that you can choose “how you swing”, deciding on which spouse gets sex, or if you’re just being a voyeur for the time being. 

2. SwapFinder – Best For Swingers Video Chats

Pros

  • Video trading, two-way video chat rooms
  • 3somes, groups, BDSM, or LGBTQ 
  • Many members

Cons

  • Limited features

SwapFinder is one of the largest swingers sites online, claiming 40 million profiles and offering a variety of matches, including full swap, threesomes, BDSM activities, and even group sex. 

Nice!

Naturally, the best feature for swapping is their two-way live sex cams for both couples. You can start flirting as a couple and send flirts or come-ons to other couples when you see someone nice.

Start with a video chat before arranging for a sex date – this way, you know the other members are real before you meet them.

3. SwingLifeStyle – Best For Meeting Friendly Swinger Groups

Pros

  • Groups, clubs, cruises – a community feel!
  • “Couple next door” type swingers, not just supermodels
  • Advanced search for kink 

Cons

  • More like a meet & greet than a swinger site

SwingLifeStyle promotes a “Swingers Next Door” kind of feel, with less emphasis on perfection and supermodels stripping on video, and more about finding real couples. 

The Florida-based website emphasizes club meetings and even has connections with “Bliss Cruise”, and “Topless Travel” options for meet and greets.

The best feature of the site is the “Join a Group” and “Find a Club” option, which lets you become part of a larger swinger community. 

4. Swingers Date Club – Best Swinger Clubs 

Pros

  • Got to swingers events & parties
  • Customize full swap or hard swap
  • Private swingers party invitations

Cons

  • Outdated site layout

SDC is serious about finding your customized date! As soon as you sign up you can choose between swingers, hookups, fetishes, and even sex education while you’re at it. Like some of the best swinger sites, SDC focuses on groups and communities, as well as events and parties

Swingers Date Club is taking online dating to the next level!

Many swingers enjoy meetup groups and events before they date a couple alone. Swingers Date Club also offers party searches and public events nearby, and more detailed profiles than the average site. 

On top of all that, SDC is also one of the oldest swinger communities online, starting in 2000. 

5. Reddit Swingers R4R – Best Free Swinger Site

Pros

  • Free site
  • Fast instant messaging
  • Personal ads from many users

Cons

  • Usually, you’re meeting couples a long drive from you

Reddit Swingers is one of the most active dating groups for swingers, though its 200K members are substantially less than most of the other sites reviewed. Still, it’s an active community with a very direct approach. 

You can enjoy free sign-up, instant chat, instant forum discussion, and private picture trading. If you don’t want to pay for the snappy features and just want to find or post a personal ad, Reddit Swingers won’t disappoint.

6. Seeking – Best Swinger Dating App For Threesomes

Pros

  • Hang out with hot college girls 
  • Women join for free
  • Verified millionaires

Con

  • Only of interest to wealthy guys 

Seeking.com is not a swinger dating website specifically, but it does just so happen to bring a lot of hot college girls together, all on the tab of a wealthy guy with no attachments.

The site isn’t about escorting, just sugar babies who are more than willing to chat about sex, fantasies, and what turns them on.

The female-to-male ratio is highest at this site, 4-1, which is great odds. It’s one of the best dating sites to find threesomes or a pool of sexy partners if you have the Bruce Wayne/Tony Stark kind of lifestyle. 

7. Ashley Madison – Best Site to Find Partners in Open Relationships

Pros

  • Great place to meet horny couples
  • Also meet married women who want to cheat
  • Photo editing tools for anonymity

Cons

  • Not as popular for swinging as cheating

Believe it or not, Ashley Madison is not all about cheating. Plenty of profiles on the site are hot wives (sharing couples), open marriages, poly, and couples looking for threesomes. No names are required and in fact, sharing personal information is discouraged.

We love privacy.

Ashley Madison provides chat, email, travel perks for meeting lovers on the go, and most importantly, anonymity. If you’re a single guy looking for couples, Ashley Madison has the tools you need. While not strictly a swinger dating app, it might just do the trick.

8. Alt.com – Best Website For Meeting Swingers With Fetishes

Pros

  • Meet BDSM or basic swinging couples
  • No ads, high-quality profiles
  • Fewer spammers than competing site “Fetlife”

Cons

  • Paid subscription, limited free preview

Alt.com is a BDSM-themed site with a high number of active users. There are multiple fetishes and relationship types here, not to mention an LGBTQ+ friendly atmosphere.

While the site is not free, for a low-cost you can get away from the ads, fake profiles, and spammers. 

The extended questionnaire, for example, helps root out the weaklings from the dedicated users who want to have some sex already. 

9. Kasidie – Best Swinger App For Events

Pros

  • Go to swinger parties & events
  • Fetish & kink matching
  • Swinger community listings and groups

Cons

  • Sometimes hard to meet couples without attending events

Kasidie offers anonymous couples matching with customized levels of privacy. You can look through photo albums or chat with others in a forum or online messaging.

Most importantly, Kasidie offers hundreds of listings for swinger parties, swinging events, and even resort sleepovers.

Besides the club listings, the swinger website also provides private and even secret communities catering to specific fetishes or general interests. 

10. Fetlife – Freakiest Hookup Partners

Pros

  • Free chat with members
  • Plenty of swingers in a relationship
  • Tons of fetishes & rooms

Cons

  • Lots of spammers
  • Many horny male users without partners

Fetlife is primarily known as a BDSM hookup site, roleplay site, and the darker side of the dating scene, where you can openly discuss blackmail play, dungeon flogging, cage training, and whatever else would make Christian Grey blush. 

It’s not like the other dating sites.

But Fetlife is also known as a great place to find swinger partners because most couples on Fetlife are spoken for AND looking. Everyone here is probably open to sex or swinging IF the fetish matches and if they like your photos/videos. 

11. Tinder – Best Way to Meet Horny People Open to Swinging Nearby

Pros

  • Free messaging & signup
  • 100s of swipes per day for free
  • Swinger couples and plenty of generous dudes 

Cons

  • Probably next to Craigslist for “worst date ever” stories

Tinder is a special case because it is both the best of times and the worst of times when it comes to swinging. Sure, plenty of open-minded partners are on Tinder looking for swapping or for a third. 

But there are also plenty of Tinder horror stories, “awkward” stories, and all sorts of swinging fails that come from an unfiltered “free” service. If you’re picky about who you meet, Tinder might be a disaster. 

A Sexy Guide to Swinging & Non-Monogamy

It’s actually great that you have questions about swinging. The worst thing you can do is jump, uh head first, into an unpredictable sexual situation.

As you will learn, successful swinging is all about communicating with your partner and your new sex buddies. 

Why Some Couples Swing – The Swinger Lifestyle

First, try to understand that there’s no “one size fits all” in the swinger lifestyle. 

Some couples or poly families have always been non-monogamous. Sometimes they grow up around it. Sometimes they learn it, because of a busy work schedule or frequent travel. 

Other couples are curious and want to spice up their sex life. They may have even more complex rules and desires, and it’s important to understand them individually. 

Not everyone wants the same thing, even in a freethinking lifestyle such as swinging. 

Swinging – Does It Hurt or Help a Relationship?

Experienced swingers will tell you to leave the personal drama at home, and to get your issues fixed BEFORE bringing someone else into your bedroom. 

A lot of toxicity follows around some couples that have warped ideas of what swinging and sharing really means.

Be clear!

It’s definitely not a hobby for the jealous, the ultra-sensitive, or the confused. The more chill you are, the STRONGER the bond with your partner already is, the better the experience will be. 

Approach Your First Swinging Couple as a Couple

Try to approach the first flirt or conversation as you would dating normally. Start with a friendly greeting, or a question, or an introduction.

There’s no need to be snarky!

Swinger partners want to know you’re safe, normal, and interesting before they proceed. You’re all like-minded people trading monogamy for the interesting swinger lifestyle.

It’s important to have good photos available of the two of you, including full body shots, a “pro” shot (even better if you’re hugging each other), and anything else adorable. 

Be available if your first couple wants to chat with both of you on video or by phone. As much as possible, try to establish that you’re real, serious, and ready to meet in person. 

Approaching Your First Swinging Couple as a Unicorn

If you’re a single person then it’s very important to let your crush couple know you play by their rules. No showboating, no rude behavior, and nothing too weird. 

Be upfront with your photos and be willing to chat on text, phone, or camera. Be chill!

If the swinging couple likes your photos, they will talk to you and make sure you understand how things are going to go. Be agreeable and very respectful of their boundaries.

Tread carefully and don’t assume being a unicorn means your fantasy is being fulfilled – it’s actually their fantasy first! 

Swinging and Swinger Sites FAQs

Still confused about various terms you’ve heard in the swinging lifestyle? We have answers for you.

What is the difference between soft and hard or full swap?

A soft swap involves touching or caressing the spouse of another couple, or in some cases, just having sex with your partner in the same room as another couple.

Some couples prefer watching and avoiding all physical contact, at least for the first time. “Hard” swap or full swap means partner trading for a whole night or at least a few hours.

Do you have to be part of a couple when swinging online?

Not always, but keep in mind some swinger clubs and groups insist that you come with a partner. They might also allow single women in, but avoid inviting single men.

To be sure, check to see if these groups or couples are into wife sharing for single guys before assuming anything. 

Have Fun Finding Swinger Clubs With These Sites

Adult Friend Finder was our top pick because it offered not only the best chance of getting laid by a hot couple but also because it had the greatest variety and diversity of users. 

While other sites did have impressive features, your best bet on actually finding a date nearby willing to meet over drinks is Adult Friend Finder. 

Have fun and be sure to share all the kinky details on some erotic confessions story sometime!

Highlights