Jessica Simpson To Make Babies With Gay Hairdresser?

Yes, the singing lovely who thought Chicken of the Sea was chicken–or at least who read that observation off a prompter–has figured out the future of her womb and decided that if she isn’t settled down by 40 (and at this rate, I wouldn’t count on it), she’ll turn to her best friend and gay hairdresser Ken Paves.

No, not to do a perm on her privates, but to impregnate her with little well-coiffed babies!

The problem is, Paves doesn’t want to wait that long. He’d like to have babies within the next two years.

So maybe he should just run over to Lindsay Lohan‘s house and start popping his seed.

I bet she’d be game!