Scientology Sunday Service: Your Open Thread For Worship (Or Whatever)

We’re trying something new in the underground bunker this morning. It’s that first dawn after the clocks have changed here in the U.S., and we find ourselves with an extra hour to play around with. Naturally, our minds turn to things Miscavigey, and we can’t help wondering what you, our loyal readers, are pondering this first morning of Eastern Standard Time (or wherever you are).

So we’re doing something about it. We’re launching a Sunday morning Scientology Open Thread, looking forward to your thoughtful, funny, acerbic, or edgy contributions for whatever it is you’d like to talk about. And, to get the juices flowing, we’re going to start things off with some fun images that Scientologists send out to inspire each other. (Um, in most cases, inspire each other to fork over money, that is.)

We’ll start off this first installment of Sunday Funnies with a rip-roaring call to shell out cash for Orange County, California’s new “Ideal Org”…

Seeing that appeal for cheddar, I can’t help thinking of our friend Dede at the Phoenix Org, raising cash in a room with figures totaled up on whiteboards. Can you feel the excitement? Of course, several times recently we’ve reported on the “Ideal Org” phenomenon and wondered about the wisdom of opening so many lavish new facilities in the face of dwindling membership. But Scientology leader David Miscavige no doubt knows what he’s about, you can be sure. We’d especially like to hear from you if you were able to attend the October 8 event at Newport Dunes Bayside Pavilion. Could it have looked something like this?

If that rocking party doesn’t have you reaching for your wallet, this next image should have you packing duffle bags for your kids…

Now that looks like fun! And there’s still time to get junior on that boat, where he can sail the Caribbean as he discovers what awful things you said to your wife while she was pregnant that have scarred the kid for life.

Well, now that your reactive mind is fully awake, campers, hit us with whatever it is you’ve been thinking about this week, whether or not it relates to the wild things we’ve been writing here about Scientology at Runnin’ Scared.

UPDATE: Act now, and we’ll throw in this bus ride free of charge. Thank you, schnookiekins, for your suggestion. Yes, we think we know how this fellow felt when he found himself surrounded by Scientologists from the Freewinds…

The Top 25 People Crippling Scientology
#1: L. Ron Hubbard
#2: David Miscavige
#3: Marty Rathbun
#4: Tom Cruise
#5: Joe Childs and Tom Tobin
#6: Anonymous
#7: Mark Bunker
#8: Mike Rinder
#9: Jason Beghe
#10: Lisa McPherson
#11: Nick Xenophon (and other public servants)
#12: Tommy Davis (and other hapless church executives)
#13: Janet Reitman (and other journalists)
#14: Tory Christman (and other noisy ex-Scientologists)
#15: Andreas Heldal-Lund (and other old time church critics)
#16: Marc and Claire Headley, escapees of the church’s HQ
#17: Jefferson Hawkins, the man behind the TV volcano
#18: Amy Scobee, former Sea Org executive
#19: The Squirrel Busters (and the church’s other thugs and goons)
#20: Trey Parker and Matt Stone (and other media figures)
#21: Kendrick Moxon, attorney for the church
#22: Jamie DeWolf (and other L. Ron Hubbard family members)
#23: Ken Dandar (and other attorneys who litigate against the church)
#24: David Touretzky (and other academics)
#25: Xenu, galactic overlord