The Ten Greatest Dicks In History!

This is one list I definitely wish I was on—a ranking of the most fantabulous penises in creation. Some of the ones listed are only so amazing because they were so small (or so much smaller than expected), but still, I’d love to be including here (or anywhere)! I’d feel so genitally special!

One of the more interesting revelations here is that gunman John Dillinger (played in Public Enemies by the decently hung Johnny Depp) was reputed to have such a big one that it was severed and stored at the Smithsonian. Alas, that was just a myth; Dillinger had fewer than 12 inches! After all, he was a bank robber, not a bank dick, ba dum pum.

But the loveliest info of all is this little passage:

“Steve McQueen‘s penis was described as being the size of two Coors cans welded together. Janice Dickinson said that when Liam Neeson unzipped, an Evian bottle fell out. And when a reporter asked Ava Gardner why she was with 112-pound Frank Sinatra, she quipped that 12 pounds were Frank and the rest was his dick.” I guess Ol’ Blue Eyes should have been called Ol’ Big Piece. That thing stretched from here to eternity! Let’s toast his longish legacy with two Coors cans.