By Anna Merlan
By Albert Samaha
By Tessa Stuart
By Anna Merlan
By Roy Edroso
By Carolyn Hughes
By Chuck Strouse
By Albert Samaha
10 A.M., Saturday, July 17,a telephone conversation.
First man, son of former famous politician: "Are you up?"
His friend, a reporter: "Of course I'm up."
First man: "Turn on the TV."
Second man: "What happened?"
First man: "John Kennedy's dead. Well, he might not be dead, but his plane disappeared. Can you believe this? He was flying his wife and her sister to Hyannis Port to Rory Kennedy's wedding. My sister called me this morning. She was there for the wedding and everyone got calls to say the whole thing was postponed. Too much, huh?"
Second man: "Has the TV vigil already started?"
First man: "Oh, of course. They've stopped all other coverage. Rowland Evans, that 'close Kennedy family friend,' a total asshole, my parents hate him, is already on the phone with reporters blowing it out his shorts."
11 A.M., Saturday, July 17,taxi heading down Fifth Avenue at 33rd Street.
Passenger: "Heard any news about the Kennedy plane?"
Passenger: "John Kennedy Jr. and his wife. They think their plane crashed, but they can't find any sign of them. It's been on TV all morning."
Driver: "I don't listen to the radio. I get up at four and I work until 11 and go to bed. Passengers complain if I put the radio on. A medallion costs $275,000. You know how hard you have to work to make that kind of money? Half the time I don't know what's going on in the world."
Passenger: "Well, it's kinda weird. They were flying to a wedding on Martha's Vineyard. No, wait, they were flying to Hyannis Port, but they were dropping somebody off on this island. And the odd thing is they disappeared. Where are you from originally?"
Driver: "I'm from Peru. And, listen. Where I come from we don't think it's weird when people disappear."
"Is there any news?" inquires paunchy balding man in Bermuda shorts and Hawaiian shirt (obvious Pines anomaly) sipping orange juice and Dubonnet.
"They, like, definitely found like parts of the wreckage," replies handsome gym bunny in Cravath, Swaine & Moore baseball cap. "Oh, look, there's Mark Green. But they're not declaring him dead yet."
"It's so strange," says third man, steroid acne, nipple ring, biohazard tattoo, drinking Diet Coke. "I found out about Lady Di in the Boiler Room. I walked in and there were, like, all these guys in the bar watching cable TV and crying. And now I hear this and I'm on Fire Island."
"You see," says paunchy balding man. "It's because you're gay that all these people die. Ooops, did I say that? Am I processing this too fast?"
Mutt man: "This is like really a weird thing to say, but you don't think someone could have targeted them?"
Pit bull woman: "Oh, that's really paranoid."
Mutt man: "Remember when his mother said she wanted to leave the country because people were targeting Kennedys."
Akita man: "But why now, why him?"
Mutt man: "I don't know. It's just a notion. Like maybe some anti-Castro types or something."
Pit bull woman: "That's pretty far-fetched."
Akita man: "I don't know. Didn't he just do a really positive profile of Fidel in George?"
10 A.M., Sunday, July 18,Crunch gym, Lafayette Street, two people watching soundless TV while walking fast on stationary Precor elliptical trainers.
First person: "It's really sad, huh?"
Second person: "Normally I try not to get caught up in this stuff, but yeah."
First person: "I don't know why."
Second person: "I hate to say this, but partly it's because he seemed kind of normal."
First person: "Dumb as a box of hammers, I heard."
Second person: "Yeah, I heard that. But he used to train at a gym where I trained, this skank gym in the East 90s. And, like, despite the fact that everyone was checking him out every second, he just went on about his business."
First person: "That must be . . . that must have been . . . "
Second person: "I mean, I don't think he took showers there, because someone could be there with a spy camera and imagine how much that picture would have been worth."
First person: "Never mind the Net."
Second person: "You know what just occurred to me? If he was the sexiest man in the world and now he's dead, the rest of us just moved up a notch."
4 P.M., Sunday, July 18,Central Park Skate Circle, midpark at 72nd Street, two sweaty in-line skaters.
Skater one: "Did anybody get news if they found the bodies?"
Skater two: "I haven't heard."
Skater one: "But a suitcase washed ashore with the sister's name on it."
Skater two: "Damn. I can't even get my luggage that fast."
Skater one: "That's sick. You know, I knew a girl once who was in a car crash in Bermuda and the car went over a cliff and everyone died except her and she was stranded on a rock and the bodies kept washing up around her. I think after that she kind of went insane."