By Alex Distefano
By Scott Snowden
By Anna Merlan
By Steve Almond
By Jena Ardell
By Jon Campbell
By Alan Scherstuhl
By Tessa Stuart
JEREMY TCHUNG, hairdresser, spraying a rat-tail comb: "No."
FLLOYD:"Did you guys see that Fox show where they capture people on secret video? They had a guy who worked in a piñata factory and they captured him fucking a piñata. It was on the family hour!"
BRENDA BERGMAN: "I love that."
FLLOYD: "The guy said, 'It enticed me.' "
JODI LENNON: "Imagine when they open it up. Like, 'What's in thisone?' "
FLOTILLA DEBARGE, sitting at makeup table in bra with no padding, stocking cap, and knee length skirt: "I don't have my tits on yet. I don't have my wig. I'm a mess. Jeremy better get his ass over here soon. We can talk while I wait. I'm originally from downtown Brooklyn. My family's from Florence, South Carolina. I started out in the East Village at the Pyramid and P.S. 122 and Boy Bar. I always wanted to be an actor or a singer since my mother took me to Radio City Music Hall as a kid. I didn't know how to go about it. I tried going into the corporate business world. Then, when my grandfather was 85 and dying, he told me to follow my dream. So I immediately stopped going to Baruch College and invented Flotilla DeBarge. I always thought Flotilla was such a good name. I'm not a thin man. I'm more larger than life. I'm not an -etteor an -ina. Plus I always loved the musical group DeBarge. So I was sitting in Battery Park City one day and a barge went by and then it just came to meFlotilla DeBarge."
Seconds before places. Unearthly moans are heard outside the dressing room.
LYPSINKA: "What's that noise?"
JODI LENNON: "That's just Jackie doing her queer actress exercises."
JACKIE HOFFMAN, appearing at dressing room door: "Guys, come quick. You just missed Mark grabbing his scrotum."
JODI LENNON, lacquering her blond pigtails with hair spray: "Am I nervous? Yes. Definitely. It's nice to be nervous. It's scary when you're not. Especially when it's a big house. Hey, is my wig anchored? Is the hair on straight? Oh, I'm so high right now from this Aqua Net."
JACKIE HOFFMAN: "Guys, Jodi's drunk again."
STAGE MANAGER: "Ladies and gentlemen."
JACKIE HOFFMAN: "CAST HUG!"
DIRECTOR KEVIN MALONY: "Go out and rock 'em sock 'em robots."
LYPSINKA: "Did Isabella make it? Isabella Rossellini? Does she have good seats?"