By Steve Weinstein
By Devon Maloney
By Tessa Stuart
By Alison Flowers
By Albert Samaha
By Jesse Jarnow
By Eric Tsetsi
By Raillan Brooks
Rusty Propeller Award for Clumsiest Attempt at Spin:
"We actually misnamed the war on terror, President George Bush reportedly told journalists attending last weeks Unity Convention. It ought to be the struggle against ideological extremists who do not believe in free societies who happen to use terror as a weapon to try to shake the conscience of the free world."
Smooth, Georgie boy. Real Smooth. But lets not stop there.
Welfare Reform shall henceforth be known as the Governmental Effort to Get Your Broke Ass Off Our Dollar So We Can Build Missile Defense Against Enemies Who Dont Exist, but Might Some Day Really SoonReally, Really Soon.
No Child Left Behind shall be rechristened Our Pathetic Attempt to Make You Believe We Care About Your Children Even Though Our Kids Are in Private School and Everyone Knows That Only Suckers Send Their Children to Public Schools Whose Budgets We Plan to Bleed Dry With Vouchers forYou Guessed ItPrivate Schools.
Faith-Based Initiatives shall be called Another Failed Effort to Get Your Broke Ass Off Our Dollar, Which Wed Rather Be Using for Missile Defense Against Al Qaeda . . . Oh, Right . . .