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By Tessa Stuart
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By Zachary D. Roberts
Long-held frustrations with the church motivated Beghe to leave Scientology seven months ago, after he had spent about 12 years in the organization as one of its most celebrated success stories. Over the course of about a year, he negotiated his disassociation with the church, trying to give every indication to church officials that he was parting on good terms.
In reality, he says, he was already planning to go public with damning allegations about L. Ron Hubbards controversial religion.
Beghe most recently appeared in the CBS series Cane, and hes been a regular television presence since the mid-1980s, showing up in series like Everwood, JAG and Numb3rs. Overnight, however, hes becoming much better known for being the first Scientology celebrity to come out against the church. Hubbards minions covet celebrities like no other religion, and although some, like Nicole Kidman, have only temporary affiliations with it, none with Beghes experience has ever been so public in denouncing it.
Speaking on the phone from his home in Malibu, Beghe, 48, says the 3-minute video is part of a much longer session. After leaving the church, Beghe had reached out to a Norwegian man, Andreas Heldal-Lund, who runs Operation Clambake (xenu.net), probably the most comprehensive anti-Scientology website on the Internet. Heldal-Lund convinced him to meet him along with another of the churchs most well known critics, Mark Bunker, known as wise beard man to the Anonymous movement that in recent months has organized worldwide protests against Scientology.
They came to my place out here, and we spent the day together. They set up a camera and I blabbed. And I barely scratched the surface, Beghe says.
Originally from New York, Beghe turned a modeling career into television acting with relative ease. Im one of those guys who works. I never had a problem getting a job, he says. I never became a huge star, but I never stopped working. While taking an acting class from Scientologist Milton Katselas in 1994, Beghe says he decided he wanted to learn more about the religion.
Hubbards followers believe that if church members go through an increasingly complex (and increasingly expensive) process known as The Bridge, they may unlock the capacities of the mind so completely that they become a clear, and have total recall, have the ability to leave their bodies, and are impervious to disease.
After reading the book Elfman gave him, Beghe says he was ready to go whole hog. Give me some Scientology, man, he remembers thinking.
And it didnt take him long to get hooked. In his first training session, doing something that, in typically arcane Hubbard argot, was called OT TR Zero, he had to learn to confront. Which, oddly enough, meant sitting motionless with his eyes closed.
You sit three feet from someone with eyes closed, relaxed. You sit there and confront someone, unflinching, until you have a major, stable win, he says. Translation: after trying to hold perfectly still for twenty minutes, he had an epiphany.
I kind of left my body, and realized, in a new sense, who I was. And it was like, Oh, shit.
He explains that as a child, he realized that he was someone who had a deep curiosity about spirituality. He remembers that he would turn to another person, look into their eyes, and feel that he was able to learn something essential about them. But when he looked into the mirror, he didnt get the same feeling. Who am I? became his mantra, he says, probably far younger than it does for, say, most college freshmen. It led him to have a sense of adventure about things spiritual.
Now, suddenly, he seemed to have an answer. Im not Jason Beghe. Thats just a body, like a car. And Im the person driving it. I felt like for the first time I felt like I knew who I was.
But now that hes left the church, does he still ascribe that feeling to something L. Ron Hubbard had discovered, or some other psychological phenomenon? Only seven months out, he admits that its not really a question hes been asked before.
But at the time, he was hooked. He remembers thinking, Let me do this clear thing, figuring that it might cost as much as $10,000. Instead, he was asked for $50,000 to start his progress on the Bridge. I probably had $60,000 to my name. But I plunked it down.
Over the next year, Beghe says he rocketed through Scientologys expensive levels like no one else. Along the way, he got plenty of special treatment. Celebrity Centre. My own private sauna. Everybody kissing my ass, which I was uncomfortable with. But nice people. Couldnt be nicer, he says.
His move to clear was so rapid, Beghe was told that diminutive Scientology leader David Miscavige considered him a poster boy for the religion.
I was Miscaviges favorite boy, so they were doing all kinds of things to keep me happy, he says. I moved up the Bridge faster than anyone in history. I went at it 24/7 for about a year. I went clear. Got to OT V. I was a trained auditor. (OT stands for operating thetan, and the highest level in the church is said to be OT VIII.)
Im farther up the Bridge than Travolta, and hes been in there a thousand years. Hes not a trained auditor. To Beghe, some of the celebrities seemed like dilettantes, enjoying the perks but not really working hard at being Scientologists.
I was on a spiritual journey. I wasnt trying to make money, or influence people. I just wanted to try it.
His wife also trained as a Scientologist and, like Beghe, reached OT V. Over his twelve years in the church, Beghe estimates that he gave Scientology about a million dollars.
Only about three years after joining, however, he says he started to have major problems. He had reached OT IV and was doing some special auditing, something referred to as L Rundowns or Ls. Beghe says the rundowns cost $150,000 to $160,000, but the payoff was immense: successfully completing the series would give someone serious juju. Youre supposed to have the power to like take over a country, he says.
I didnt like that question. I was just experimenting. Beghe went through daylong sessions in which he was peppered with questions about his ethics and behavior while holding onto an e-meter, a device that tests have shown simply measures skin galvanism, but that Scientologists believe reveal deep secrets in the mind. Beghe had used the e-meter many times before. But these sessions were a disaster for him. For six hours at a time, hed be hit with questions (Is there an upset? Did you commit a crime? Did someone almost find out something you did?). But I had nothing to say. I wasnt hiding anything. His auditors werent satisfied. They were waiting for a floating needle on the e-meter to show he was in the right state of mind, but it kept spiking.
I was sitting there for hours, at $1,000 an hour. It went for weeks, he says. And it cost that much, he says, because Ls required a class 12 auditor.
A class 12 auditor has more training than a brain surgeon. Theyre the cream of the crop. Theyre the only ones who can deliver the Ls. And they were making the biggest fucking mistakes, he says.
Beghe says the proof that Scientology was no longer working for him came when he was almost killed in a car accident. After the Ls, he points out, that shouldnt happen. A clear isnt supposed to have a car accident. Youre supposed to be practically immortal.
To the Scientologists, the accident was an indication that someone was suppressing Beghe. So they pulled him in for more interrogation.
What about this gay person youre friends with, Beghe says one official asked him, implying that somehow the gay friend was causing Beghes clear state to be sabotaged. When Beghe objected, he says the official responded, Well, hes gay.
His training, meanwhile, continued to go badly. The next step, OT V, he says, was terrible. OT V should take 3 to 5 weeks, and it took me three to five years.
Not only were his auditing sessions grinding on him, Beghe says he was also expected to keep quiet about his troubles, and still make many appearances at Scientology events to keep up the fiction that he was doing well.
Courting celebrities is one of the things that Scientology is noted for, but Beghe says it goes beyond simply a PR tool. Hubbard had made it clear that one way to clear the contents of ones ethics filethe record of misdeeds a parishioner admits to in auditingwas to recruit a celebrity to the fold. Bring in a star, and all crimes are forgiven. So the care and feeding of celebrity members is paramount on everyones mind.
Beghe claimst that the religions top star, Tom Cruise, was actually mostly separated from the church for several years. Other celebrities, he points out, go through similar periods of no longer auditing or moving up the Bridge, but are still considered members. Bringing Cruise back into a more active role, Beghe says, was a major Miscavige project.
He was out for like ten years. There are people who just arent doing anything Some are out but dont talk about it. Why? The church is scary. These are bad motherfuckers.
Once his disappointment was so great he began talking about leaving altogether, Beghe says the church sent people to talk him out of it.
Big fucking cheeses. At the end, one was David Petit, head of Celebrity Centre International. Ive known him for a long time, he says. He told me: If you want, Ill make you the president of any Celebrity Centre, anywhere in the world.
Thats a sign of the respect they had for me. Petit doesnt get to make offers like that unless David [Miscavige] knows.
Now that he and his wife are finally out, Beghe says he wants the world know how unethical and underhanded Scientology turned out to be.
Will Smith is supposedly dabbling in Scientology. Let Will Smith know that his shit was fucking recorded. And tell him to look them in the eye and see if he believes it when they deny it.
Even worse, he says, is that behind the backs of celebrities, Scientology officials gossip about what transpires in those supposedly private sessions. Everythings supposed to be confidential. But all they do is chat about it, he says.
At a church center in Hemet, California where the church has movie studios, Beghe helped make videos. I did movies for them. I remember asking, who do we cast in this thing? How about this dude? referring to another scientologist actor. No, hes been cheating on his wife, Beghe says he was told.
Its just a gossip factory. And Im not talking about auditors. All over the place. The celebrities dont know that their private troubles are gossiped about by Scientology employees.
Beghe says he was also motivated by what non-celebrities are going through in Hubbards church.
Being a celebrity, I got the greatest fucking auditors, case supervisors, all the best trained people. And they fucked me up this badand they admitted they didbut what about the poor schmoe at Orange County org? They dont know what theyre doing. It certainly doesnt deliver whats promised.
Is he worried about what going public will do to his career?
Im probably not going to be doing any movies for United Artists any time soon, he cracked, referring to the Cruise-owned studio. But otherwise, hes not sure how the publicity will affect his career. After Canes cancellation, hes waiting for word on another deal that he cant talk about yet. But for now, hes fielding calls from television talk shows.
I dont want to get bitter, and I dont want to hurt anybody, he says. But hes determined to help others by telling them what hes learned.
Scientology seduces you into thinking that its a process through which you can truly become yourself. But ultimately, what it turns you into is a Scientologista brainwashed version of yourself.