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Braeburn's Funny Farm

New West Village bistro gets lost in the corn

The far end of the dining room is dominated by a wall-size painting only half-finished, as if the artist had been called away to dinner and never returned. It shows a New England farm with a white saltbox house, a white barn, and a small flock of off-white sheep inside a white picket fence. In one corner, a spindly grove of cedars has been done in the high style of the Italian Renaissance, while in the foreground stands a smeary willow that might have been limned by Francis Bacon. The painting's sheep, scaled way too small, seem copied from a 19th-century seed catalog.

As I was eating my last meal at Braeburn, it struck me that the defects in the painting reflect the defects in the restaurant.

Located at the bucolic corner of Greenwich and Perry streets, Braeburn seems to espouse the farmstead principles pioneered by places like Applewood and Blue Hill. (Some of the produce served at Braeburn is said to come from chef Brian Bistrong's family farm.) The restaurant's look is self-consciously rustic, beginning with the birch stems lined up in the windows, making it feel as if you're gazing through a stand of trees. Squint and you might not notice the decrepit parking garage across the street. Even though the name comes from a variety of apple native to New Zealand and not New York, be assured that at Braeburn, you can have apples with every course.

Served warm, the "smoked local brook trout" ($10) arrives accompanied by apple purée flavored with horseradish, and the lightly breaded skate ($24) fans out on a bed of Swiss chard awash in a Fuji apple jus. A shotglass of apple syrup adorns an excellent dessert of freshly fried doughnut holes rolled in granulated sugar. And you can wash everything down with a selection of hard apple ciders, which form a novel and desirable beverage choice next to the usual beers and wines. The French cider from Normandy (Duché de Longueville, $7) is a little too sweet, with an underlying taste that recalls chemical fertilizers, while the cider from New Hampshire's Farnum Hill ($7) is more like dry champagne.

So, here we have a farmstead-themed restaurant with locavore overtones. It's a simple enough formula, and you'd expect big, aggressive plates of plainish food from farmers'-market sources. But that's often not the case at Braeburn. The lessons of cooking school have been vigorously applied, complete with delicate servings, fussy platings, and incongruous ingredients that seem to fly out of nowhere. And why, given the farmstead theme, does the menu emphasize unsustainable ocean fish?

Don't get me wrong. There's much to like about Braeburn. The fist-sized and strangely boneless "all-natural rib eye" ($32) is as fine a hunk of beef as I've had in a month of Sundays, though the word "natural" in this context is meaningless. While the roasted "Pennsylvania chicken" is splendid in its chanterelle stew, its origin in the Keystone State is no guarantee that the chicken was humanely raised or organically fed. The single pork chop ($26) is juicy and savory, though the menu's description—"rack of pork"—suggests more than the dish can deliver. It sits at a jaunty angle on a slurry of bacon and savoy cabbage, with a puck of potato-prune gratin on the side, accompaniments that are too sweet by a country mile. So is the citrusy fluid that soaks the otherwise good appetizer of peekytoe crab mounted on a gravel of ripe avocado. (Why do chefs like peekytoe crab so much? Because they like to say "peekytoe.")

From there, the menu gets lost in the cornfield, like the wandering, frightened adults in Children of the Corn. The minced-shrimp crust on the "line-caught" cod—you could catch the cod with a Popeil Pocket Fisherman and it still wouldn't be sustainable—languishes in a bonito broth with bok choy. Clearly, we've been teleported to a local farm in Japan. The Bibb lettuce salad, garnished with pumpkin seeds, is unsatisfyingly austere and barely dressed, a mistake no farmwife would make. Fresh as a sea breeze, the sea scallop appetizer didn't really need to be cut in half, partially crusted with panko, and served with braised endive and walnut purée. Like the dishes on Top Chef, many of Bistrong's compositions suffer from the "one ingredient too many" syndrome.

And, like the unfinished painting, the restaurant launches itself on a farmstead theme that it can't quite deliver on. The shrunken sheep looking quizzically out of the painting seem to bleat: "Why no lamb on the menu?"

 
  • Julien 12/05/2008 8:27:00 AM

    This is the first time I can truly say that I have been shocked by a restaurant review. I just ate at Braeburn and loved both the food and the atmosphere and the location. I was happy that they weren't serving "platefuls of simple country fair," and pleased by the attention they had given to each dish. But that's not the point. The point is that this reviewer spends way too much time indulging in cheap sarcasm over aspects of the decor and concept (simply because the restaurant doesn't conform to what his idea of it should be), and far too little time on the food, which he overall seems to have liked. Even if I had never been to Braeburn, I would have found this review lame and mean-spirited. Having gone there I find it inexplicable, and inexplicably vindictive.

  • Jason 11/29/2008 2:23:00 AM

    This review reads a bit provincial. So if a restaurant serves local or farmer's market sourced food, it can't also be carefully - even fussily - cooked and refined? Also, last time I checked at the local supermarket the bok choy was grown in NY, so the Japan comment makes no sense either.

  • c 11/28/2008 1:41:00 AM

    This restaurant is a wonderful new addition to the neighborhood � it's warm and unpretentious while serving very sophisticated and imaginative food. I especially loved the trout and crab appetizers, and the bread pudding dessert was _amazing_! The service was attentive, while maintaining a relaxed atmosphere. It's a great place to have a special meal.

  • Picky Eater 11/26/2008 11:05:00 PM

    Someone give Robert Sietsema a map. Does he not know where he is? To criticize the location of the restaurant being situated across from a parking lot, is laughable... this is New York!!! After reading this review, I realized; Sietsema takes things too literally, and needs to exercise his imagination, or better yet, his right side of brain. Yes, there are sheep in the painting, but not on the menu. Yes, the menu states "rack" of pork, but in fact, is a human sized portion. Give me a break. When does one look at the decor to find suggestions for a meal, and who can eat a whole entire "rack" of pork? Sietsema should realize, in this day and age, one has the freedom to embrace other cultures. There is a big, and fascinating world out there, offering exotic fruits and spices. Do we really need another theme restaurant, where everything is so strictly curated, and BORING. What is wrong with having dishes with influences from other countries? I see nothing wrong with a creative approach to food offered to me. The food at Braeburn is thoughtful and inspired. It has been consistently good. The restaurant itself is warm and friendly, not fussy, which is something more restaurants in New York should be. I see nothing wrong with an individual approach to food, especially when it simply tastes good.

  • Picky Eater 11/26/2008 10:52:00 PM

    Someone, give Robert Sietsema a map, does he not know where he is? To criticize the location of the restaurant being situated across from a parking lot, is laughable....this is New York! After reading this review, I realized: Sietsema takes things too literally, and needs to exercise his imagination, or better yet, his right side of brain. Yes, there are sheep in the painting, but not on the menu. Yes, the menu states "rack" of pork, but in fact is a human sized portion. Give me a break. When does one look to the decor to find a suggestion for a meal, and who can eat an entire "rack' of pork? Sietsema should realize, in this day and age, one has the freedom to embrace other cultures. There is a big, and fascination world out there, that offers exotic fruits and spices. Do we really need another theme restaurant, where everything is strictly curated and predictable? I see nothing wrong with a creative approach to cuisine offered to me. I champion, inspired and thoughtful cuisine. In my opinion, Braeburn has been consistently good. The restaurant is warm and friendly, not fussy, which I find refreshing in New York. I see nothing wrong with an individual approach to to food, especially when it tastes good.

  • James 11/26/2008 9:02:00 PM

    I think this article is nonsense. I had a fantastic meal at this Restaurant recently. It was a very warm and inviting space and the food was EXCELLENT!

  • Betty 11/26/2008 8:53:00 PM

    Wow, what a MEAN review, did they do something to you? Why take it so personally. The sarcasm is flooding as if a pipe burst. Why do you find it so necessary to bash a place like that. Did they claim to have lamb on the menu? I found this review brutal and ridiculous. WOW, such beastly behavior even for the voice.

 

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