Guys Who Like Fat Chicks

One time in Spain, an old woman spotted Charlotte in public, stopped abruptly, and crossed herself. “Like I was Satan.”

After walking four miles a day overseas, Charlotte lost 75 pounds, which she gained back upon return. And then some. Roller-coaster weight spikes and dips have steered her life since she was a small child. Her folks split when she was a “normal little healthy” two-year-old girl with dimples and Shirley Temple curls; she and her mother moved in with her grandparents. “Grandma always had body issues. She was probably about 225 or so and she always hated herself and was trying to lose weight and gaining it back,” she says, apologizing for drawing the conversation into such solemn territory. “My mom worked really long hours, so grandma was basically raising me. She put me on this diet and made me so small that my pediatrician said something to her. And then she would start feeding me what they ate, which was potatoes and junk food, until I got fat. Then she would put me on a diet again.”

Charlotte is pretty sure that all the yo-yo dieting of her adolescence screwed up her metabolism permanently. Her first long-term boyfriend was a 21-year-old with “a little bit of a potbelly going on” whom she’d met online gaming. But after more than a year of having a 325-pound girlfriend, he caved to frat-boy peer pressure. “His friends couldn’t stand the thought of one of their friends dating someone as fat as me,” she shares matter-of-factly. “Finally, he said, ‘You’re going to have to lose weight, or we’re going to have to break up.’ And I loved him—I really loved him—so I really tried. I tried to lose weight, I tried dieting, I tried, and as with every diet I’ve ever been on, I ended up 75 pounds heavier than when I started. So that took me to 425. And he broke up with me.”

Sam Zide
Sam Zide

She’s moved on, and in rather spectacular fashion. Scouring the Internet for plus-size clothes, she’d discovered BBW chat rooms when she was 18, and subsequently, a community of Fat Admirers rabidly attracted to her. Naturally, she explored this inverse reality, when it came time. “I had a rep—” she pauses to get the word out, “reputation for a little while. I did! I totally did! As a slut! I’ve been with seven people in my life. I do not feel that’s excessive. I am extraordinarily picky, but I am not one of those women who plays games. If I want to sleep with a guy, I don’t necessarily make him wait until the third date. We’re adults!”

At the moment, she’s not sure if she likes Spanish Guy “like that” or not. He’s already called three times during lunch—his photo pops up when he rings, and the man pictured is a conventionally attractive man—but it was an hour earlier than she told him to call, so she shut off her phone. “What really pisses me off is the attitude that, like, that guy is dating below his league just because the girl he’s dating is fat. And in fact, I may well be above his league,” she laughs. “You can’t know that, unless you know who I am.”

Among the fat community, there’s a particularly infamous CSI episode centered around a fat woman having sex on top and killing her partner. “She was only 250 or 300 pounds or something like that,” says Charlotte. “I have been 500 pounds, and I would like to say that on top is my favorite position! I have not killed anybody yet.” She smirks. “It’s just interesting the way that society sees fat sexuality,” she says. “It doesn’t exist, or it kills you.”

Dear Askaguywholikesfatchicks: Is this because you think you can’t do any better? —BBB
Yes, but not in the way you’re thinking.

“It’s like one big boob.” That’s Dan’s shorthand explanation for what it’s like to be with fat women, what their bodies feel like naked, and the physical attributes he’s found himself attracted to his entire life. If it sounds crass, well, that’s the best way he can explain his fat attraction to other straight guys who express befuddlement and disgust. “It’s the same property: Men like fondling soft breasts, and I don’t get why that doesn’t apply to the whole body.”

It doesn’t in many, many Western minds. Even the author of the 20th century’s big-ass anthem doesn’t like fat chicks. You know, “Baby Got Back,” the 1992 Sir Mix-a-Lot hip-hop classic that blasts, proudly, defiantly, ravenously: I Like. Big. Butts! And I cannot lie! Sure, the Seattle rapper’s anthem is technically one with an “itty-bitty” waist planted atop a “real thick and juicy” backside, the provenance of Shakira wannabes and King magazine. But many Fat Admirers have adopted it as their own. A rap-metal cover of the track appears, as nether-region salute with a version of Ted Nugent’s “Thunder Thighs,” on last year’s BBW-friendly compilation WHOLE LOTTA LOVE: An All-Star Salute to Fat Chicks.

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