Meet the Original JWoww and Snooki, Would-Be Stars of Bridge & Tunnel

Brianna and Gabriella almost escaped from Staten Island. But MTV pulled the plug on the original Jersey Shore

"We're going really, really fast," she admits. "Whole new life." The couple has matching tattoos: His name inked on her ass, her name stamped "right above his penis," she says, "where it belongs."

We say our goodbyes at E Squared and head in separate directions until Brianna realizes her interviewer is hoofing back to the Staten Island Railway on foot and circles back. "I'm so sorry! I went off blasting my music, not realizing that you were walking!" They offer up the backseat.

Driving past banners for BLOWOUTS and BOOZE (specifically liquor-store eye-opener discounts, from 8 a.m. to noon on Monday through Thursday), Brianna switches on LMFAO's "I Am Not a Whore," the party-rock club-jam that repeats I! Am Not! A Whore 20 times. "This is me defending myself from Staten Island girls," jokes Brianna from the driver's seat, then singing along with the subsequent disclaimer, "But I like to do it." (There is a 2011 YouTube video of Snooki, JWoww, Deena, and Ronnie duck-faced voguing to this very song.)

The white Scion turns the corner to the Nassau station; the train is already there. Like a tongue-waggingly hot poodle, Gabby sticks her head out the window and screams loud enough for Manhattan to hear, "Hold the TRAAAAAAAINNNN!" New York railways do not wait for people who aren't even on the platform, but Brianna is insistent. "No—quick, quick, quick—seriously, go!"

Like on TV, the train waits. Holding the door, the smiling conductor says, "Just for you girls." What he means: just for those girls.

cdodero@villagevoice.com | On Twitter, @camilledodero

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