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01/28/2012 7:10:00 PM
Being an alcoholic slut in New York does not make you a New Yorker. It just makes you an alcoholic slut. Nice to have mommy and daddy funding your stay in New York. You're here to stay, I wish you didn't. Thanks for ruining the EV, NYC, and the Village Voice with your annoying presence. Now you're off to jump ship, much like a rat and the locusts that have invaded NYC. You calling yourself a New Yorker is an insult to New Yorkers.
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01/02/2012 2:59:00 AM
Great text, really enjoyable reading... and so true! Thank you Jen!
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12/13/2011 9:06:00 PM
I agree
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Zoejamm 12/13/2011 4:23:00 PM
i loved this article and posted it on my blog !
zoejam.com
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12/13/2011 7:25:00 AM
I am a native New Yorker.
I now live in Beverly Hills.
I have had a lucky life.
George Vreeland Hill
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Kiko Jones 12/05/2011 9:44:00 PM
You just described wannabes; not actual NYers.
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Natalie 12/04/2011 11:36:00 PM
Well that's the MASSIVE difference b/w the south and NYC. My moms' family has roots here from when the US wasn't even a country yet, and my dad moved here from Wisconsin to go to grad school. I thought that living here all my life could qualify me as a New Yorker, but apparently my blood is contaminated by my "foreign" dad.
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Mmeshaj 12/01/2011 4:15:00 PM
For those of you with "negative" comments towards the realities of this article... CLEARLY you are not New Yorkers, you don't get it and no matter how long you rape and pillage our city, you never will!!
We thank you for passing through as it's wonderful entertainment to the true New Yorkers in this city ;)
Well done Jen, I couldn'tve said it better myself.
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Zoe, Magic Garden 11/30/2011 5:40:00 PM
While I enjoyed this article, and the many points I disagreed with, Jen, you are not a New Yorker. You might love New York, and live here, but the sentiments of someone who grew up here will never match those of someone who moved here after, say, age 13. I have been throwing a monthly party for native New Yorkers for almost 11 years, and it's amazing what a small town NYC really is. We are townies, through and through, and there's nowhere for us to go - nowhere is as good and interesting as NYC, and no one is as good and interesting as a native New Yorker. Check out my party at: www.nycmagicgarden.com
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11/30/2011 5:20:00 PM
How To Be A White New Yorker. By Jen Doll, An Alabama Transplant.
This Article Illustrates How Privilege And Willful Ignorance Are Used To Whiten NYC. The Apartheid Culture That Has Been Created in New York Will Be Challenged. #DecolonizeNYC
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11/29/2011 10:02:00 AM
New York is really a beautiful country i like to visit here lots of beautiful spots are in this place its great to spend vacation here
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Spiderman 11/28/2011 2:49:00 PM
Cool. Thanks for the fuzzy. Yo rock NYC>
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Rob 11/26/2011 12:12:00 AM
Essential top tips on how to be a New Yorker.
You must:
1. Massively overreact to any adverse situation no matter how minimal. You must engage in a spectacular public meltdown/freakout/rage at the lateness of the subway train, the person who accidentally bumps into you on the street, the quality of your sex life, etc.
2. Be in about 10 bands, involved in 15 art projects, be a carpenter, run your own authentic pizzeria, grow a beard, have some shite tattoos, get a stall at Brooklyn Flea...all at the same time.
3. Be able to send a glass eye ball to sleep with your tales of how NYC was best in the 80's/90's when homeless people shat in Tompkins Park and crack ravaged the city.
4. Smoke crack and take steroids and ride your bike as fast as you can....into people.
5. Talk absolute shite in an highly articulate/highfalutin manner.
6. Masturbate in public.
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11/25/2011 5:46:00 PM
If I moved to Alabama, I wouldn't be a Southerner. My kids wouldn't be Southerners except to my relatives back in the city. My grandkids might be accepted as Southerners by their peers; so your answer, Jen, is "no."
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Christian 11/25/2011 5:28:00 PM
Amen
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Jose 11/25/2011 5:10:00 AM
Christ, I vomited all over my new mac!
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11/25/2011 2:45:00 AM
Well, that was self-congratulatory.
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Obama 11/24/2011 10:18:00 PM
I'm a new yorker all my life and crap like this comes off as pretenscious and is why everyone hates us.
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Samsaleh71 11/24/2011 9:21:00 PM
So the author moved here in 98 when alphabet city was dangerous she says, that's laughable!! By 98 the east village and LES had already gone through there very thorough ethnic cleansing and were completely gentrified.
You could say new york is always changing all you want but this time its very different. Whole swaths of the city are becoming accessible to only the monied crowd and this is all aided and abetted by the city, law enforcement and state agencies. Only someone who moved here in 98 would think NYC still has any character left
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11/24/2011 1:43:00 PM
Check
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11/24/2011 7:36:00 AM
If you had the money. Be New Yorker is right. All things you need in the city are abundant. Living New York is consider rich and famous of America.
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11/24/2011 5:17:00 AM
Sounds like a very good plan to me dude. Wow.
surf-privacy.tk
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HarlemBrown 11/24/2011 12:50:00 AM
"After all, the country is where scary Children of the Corn–type shit happens. In the city, if you scream, someone will surely hear you and call 311 to complain."
Precisely the reason I have yet to move
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Hmm268 11/23/2011 10:57:00 PM
I'm sorry but when you Manhattanites continue to say New York you guys seem to refer solely about that one particular boro. You forget that there are 4 other boros in the CITY! That's what makes it NEW YORK. One question to the writer of the article, have you ever gone to the Bronx (besides Yankee Stadium)? Or have been to Coney Island? Or the Rockaways? Or the north shore of Staten Island? Or Flushing? If you do you'll discover that New Yorkers have different ways and attitudes than what you find in Manhattan. But I do agree with the passage "know how to turn your shoulders sideways, so you don't bump shoulders when you're passing someone on the sidewalk" that is how you can tell someone is a real NY'er versus a transplant.
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Suzinne 11/23/2011 7:31:00 PM
Exactly. Real New Yorkers were born here. Agree w/ all your sentiments and, of course, your nostalgia for The Village Voice in all its glory. Sadly, New York City has grown so homogenized, it's downright offensive. Give me the old Times Square and Greenwich Village any day.
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11/23/2011 7:21:00 PM
"In some ways, New York is the Madonna (Ciccone, not the Virgin) of cities..."
Missed pun opportunity:
"In some ways, New York is the Madonna (not the Virgin, but LIKE a virgin!)"
Love the cover this week, by the way.
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Ed Kollin 11/23/2011 6:48:00 PM
Went to LA in the late 1980s for a wedding at the height of the bad old days here. Was in this fast food yogurt place when I got the "how can you live there" statement from the places owner or manager. I am usually not one for Schadenfreude but in the years following my visit LA was hit by earthquakes, floods, fires and riots. Each time another disaster happened I kept on thinking of that guy and a smile crossed my face. I am smiling now just thinking about it.
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11/23/2011 4:33:00 PM
Jeremiah Moss is part right and part wrong when he says the newcomer has "a seething hatred of urban life. They don't like the dirt or the smells. They don't like the kvetching and the neuroticism. They don't like the layers of history. They want to tear it all down and make it clean and new."
No one - besides Mr. Moss, I imagine - actually _likes_ dirt, smell, kvetching, and neuroticism. The difference between a New Yorker and the rest of us is that the New Yorker understands that they're not going away - and beyond that, they probably shouldn't. As Mr. Moss intuits, they nourish those precious layers of history. They are the fertile substrate for creative human freedom, just as good topsoil is for crops. (Feed _that_ to your dairy herds, Wisconsinites!)
A New Yorker is someone who knows that negative energy always accompanies positive energy, and opens themselves to it all.
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11/23/2011 3:00:00 PM
Real New Yorkers don't mind being seen naked by people in the building across the way.
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Ctienan 11/23/2011 5:16:00 AM
Anyone who calls themselves a New Yorker that was not born here is not a New Yorker in mind and thus we are left with the high-line, cup cakes etc and yes Wisconsin. I have been here for 35 yrs. and still a hick from the Midwest but I hated the mid west and do love NY but it is so hard to see now. New York City just seems to exit in photos and it is not in Brooklyn either but perhaps in Queens were no trend loving person would dare go to without the ok from fill in the blanks...of bourgeoisie papers or blog. I lived in the days of the Robert Christgau and Sylvia Plachy and the art for art sake of a seemly bygone era. Now it is just to much like all the other crap cities it is a cartoon version of some city has little substance to back it up.
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11/23/2011 4:45:00 AM
Unfortunately, the ridiculous cost of living in NYC has driven a lot of creative people away. To pay the rents, you have to get a job that usually doesn't leave much time for creating. 30-35 years ago, it was easier for creative types to find really cheap housing (usually in the lower east side), get part time work, and do their art.
Also, the internet has leveled the playing field of culture and creativity--one person uploads an idea or ideas and the next day, thousands of people are regurgitating the same idea or ideas and that has resulted in much more homogeneity in the culture.
From a former new yorker.
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Godardoverrated 11/23/2011 12:25:00 AM
I think New York is not as interesting as it thinks it is.I've lived here 14 years, and observed a city that is looking more and more like other cities. It attracts fewer creative people in favor of those in finance. Finally, so much of it has been corporatized...
What's interesting about being a New Yorker? Who cares?
