DMX: Dancing Machine


Rumors about DMX are flying all over the place these days, and most of them just aren’t true. DMX has not, for instance, changed his name to “Troubled Rapper DMX” to make things easier for tabloid writers, and he’s not starring in a movie about a computer-animated pit bull who does kung fu (yet). X’s lawyer Murray Richman had to stop another one of these rumors this morning before it even started, telling News, “He didn’t do a dance out of the courthouse. I was walking right beside him.”

It’s a shame, actually. DMX probably needs to dance; he’s had quite a time of it lately. Before he dropped his album The Grand Champ in 2003, X announced that he was retiring from music (it was a popular thing to do at the time) and becoming a preacher, though he later changed his mind and decided that he’d serve God better by continuing to do raps. In June of 2004, he was arrested after allegedly telling a parking lot attendant that he was a federal agent and crashing an SUV into a gate at Kennedy Airport; he later admitted that he was on Valium at the time. His license was suspended, and he was later arrested for speeding in an unregistered vehicle, going over 100 miles per hour in a 65 zone. And this past April, he injured three people in the Bronx by causing a three-car accident, slamming into one car and causing it to hit an unmarked police car.

Things haven’t been easy for DMX lately (especially driving, apparently). But yesterday, a New York State Supreme Court Judge Dorothy Chin-Brandt granted an adjournment in the case against him for allegedly violating his terms of release in the Kennedy Airport case. If I’m reading all this right, he won’t be doing any prison time if he doesn’t get any more violations in the next year. On top of that, DMX has any number of reasons to celebrate: he’s working on a new album and a new movie, it wasn’t raining too hard yesterday, Eddie Curry is going to be playing for the Knicks next year, the King Kong remake looks really good. And Pat Milton of the Associated Press reports that he did, in fact, celebrate: “Outside court, he hammed it up for the media, even doing a dance down the steps of the Queens Criminal Court building.”

Now, clearly DMX’s lawyer Murray Richman is a better source than the sheisty-ass Associated Press, but Milton’s report does raise a few questions. If DMX was dancing, what dance was he doing? The cabbage patch? The Macarena? Could DMX have been voguieng? In some sort of amazing physical feat, might DMX have somehow moonwalked down the courthouse stairs? These are troubling questions indeed. Status Ain’t Hood readers should stay on the lookout for any signs of DMX dancing and send any firsthand accounts to We need to get to the bottom of this.