No Context: Crystal Castles, Ripsters at Studio B


photo by Rebecca Smeyne

No Context

Crystal Castles+Health
Studio B
March 25

Two kids in 40-degree weather, neither wearing jackets. The Studio B bouncers are playing that game where they see how long it takes for the first fifteen-year-old girl to pass out. Perfect time for a game of telephone: Fernando Eats Bagels While Playing the Banjo, some girl whispers in my ear. At that very moment, by that very magic, the line starts moving. The ripsters are saved.


Two kids, enormous necks hidden by the new neck-scarves invented by the keyboardist from Vampire Weekend, have a conversation.

No Country?”

“Just like the movie. Dialogue and everything.”

The Road?”



Two kids, bald, jacked, dance wildly. Sweat flies off their heads. They don’t clap—they howl. Howling, the taller one says to the shorter one: “When are these guys going to play a good song?”


I head for the door. Some girl comes up, whispers in my ear. “Hypothesis: Even a nerd can become buff. Materials and Methods: Weights, running, push-ups, pull-ups. Repeat as needed. Results: Six-pack, muscled pecs.”

“Pass it on,” she says.