Jose Reyes Has Thyroid Trouble, in Latest Sign of God’s Wrath Against the Mets


It never ends for the cursed New York Mets. Jose Reyes, the shining light of the team was looking good — he hit a triple in his first intrasquad game at-bat this spring. Manuel has been thinking of moving him from leadoff, where he bats on account of his speed, to third, on account of his bat, to replace the injured Carlos Beltran.

Now Reyes is out of the spring lineup for — get this — a possible hyperactive thyroid.

Team doctors found Reyes’ levels high and — perhaps stung by accusations of slowness to treat hobbled Mets — quickly sent him up from spring training to New York for tests. It’ll be a few days before results are known.

Symptoms of hyperthyroidism, according to the American Thyroid Association, include “nervousness, irritability, increased perspiration, heart racing, hand tremors, anxiety, difficulty sleeping, thinning of your skin, fine brittle hair, and muscular weakness.” Well, Reyes did say he was nervous before that intrasquad game, though that may have had more to do with the questioning he underwent in regards to the doping investigation of Anthony Galea, who performed “blood-spinning” on Reyes and is suspected of feeding other players illegal performance enhancers.

Last year both active players, ex-Mets, and even Mets announcers were struck by a curse from God. The team had 13 players on the DL at one point in the 2009 season. Bring smudge sticks to Opening Day!

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