We’re betting the Fork in the Road Double Down will prove to be even tastier than the KFC version–once the latter’s tardy ass appears four days from now.
KFC’s new Double Down Sandwich is a thisiswhyyourefat.com dream come true: two extensively breaded chicken breasts, several slices of Monterrey Jack cheese, two strips of bacon (what, only two?), and a magnificent slathering of a sauce that’s remained secret ever since McDonald’s put it on a Big Mac sometime in the late 60’s. How is this a sandwich, you wonder, when there’s no bread? Well, this is an ironic sandwich. But more important, it’s a transcendentally transgressive sandwich, since it involves violating every principle of peevish Bloombergism. Well, fuck him! (Errr, not literally.)
In formulating the Colonel’s “secret sauce” that’s supposed to go on the thing, we studied photos of the KFC Double Down and personality profiles of the Colonel himself, and here are the ingredients we chose to use.
Utilizing mayo, ketchup, Dijon, and chopped dill pickle, here’s what the completed sauce looks like.
As the world sits on its hams waiting for the “sandwich” to debut on April 12th, food pundits have already pitched their tents outside KFC locations from here to the Gowanus Canal, waiting for the first tremulous sandwiches to be handed out.
Well, Fork in the Road decided not to wait. We’ve made our own, improving on the KFC version where necessary and obvious. (We used four strips of bacon, because four strips are twice as good as two strips). Following are a few photos of our culinary triumph, but we don’t want to reveal too much since we don’t want KFC to figure out our improvements and steal them.
Next: How we did it
Here are the ingredients we started out with (plus certain “secret spices” we can’t reveal.
The dipping vats
We started out with two skinless boneless chicken breasts, dipped them in successive bowls of flour, whipped egg, and herbed breadcrumbs. Next we fried them in hot oil until they were a pleasing shade of brown. In the meantime, we fried four thick pieces of farmers’ market bacon, and mixed the secret sauce. We bought the pepper jack cheese already sliced at the D’Agostino’s, figuring it would be far better quality than the imitation of wax KFC is likely to come up with.
The we assembled the sandwich. And boy was it delicious!
The boneless skinless chicken breast–two for the sandwich, two back-ups.
Frying the cutlets.