Doggy Style

While the rest of the trendies were out enjoying the Rapture and De La Soul at Diesel-U-Music’s talent contest last Thursday, I was at Eugene drooling at cute li’l dressed-up doggies. Anyone who knows me knows I have a problem: I molest other people’s dogs. I go to the dog run plotting ways to get owners to stop so I can pet their breathing-impaired pugs. (If the dogs were people, this would be called stalking.) So when the chance came to go to “Paws for Style,” Animal Fair magazine’s benefit for the Humane Society, I said “whatever” to the Rapture and ran straight for the cutest poodle in town. How does this qualify as a Fly Life event? Well, it was in a nightclub, and there were celebrities (OK, so they were pretty lame celebs, like Republican Lauren Bush, the other trashy ice skater Oksana Baiul, one-hit who? Samantha Cole, and some guy from Guiding Light with a dog named Mr. Bigglesworth).

The supposed draw of this event was the haute couture designer doggy outfits (Vivienne Tam, Kate Spade, Alice Roi). Yawn. I wanted to spend the whole time with Sugarplum and Pumpkin, two Pomeranians, and a papillon named Marshmallow. Oh, what a lovely puddle of fur they made. The Humane Society was on hand with dogs who needed homes (sweet Sammy, a Portuguese with a missing eye, was my fave). Rich people, I discovered, are much more tolerable when they are surrounded by adorable puppies.

I keep meaning to make it to Mission—which is apparently flooded with rich people—but even though the rich are flush with cash, they don’t always spread the wealth. Puffy (yes, him again) waltzed in last Thursday hiding a bottle of wine under his jacket; he proceeded to the back (where MTV was filming his show, Making the Band), drank the whole bottle, and left without ordering a thing or leaving a cent. And, and, and—even funnier—he was downing the cheapo $6 variety. Guess he’s over Cristal?

I prefer to kick it with the regular people. You know, it keeps me humble and down-to-earth. Richie Hawtin had a teeny tiny bash at the teeny tiny Filter 14 on Friday. The formerly bald and bespectacled one spun with Magda after “DJ’ing” with iPods at the Apple store. (It’s not possible to DJ with an iPod, although Mr. Hawtin told me that the Apple folks are working on an iPod with pitch control.) Hawtin—who just got rid of his Williamsburg digs so he could move to Berlin to work on his next album—had 700 partygoers eagerly awaiting entrance to the 150-person capacity club. Eventually 450 made it past the doors throughout the night, which went till 6 a.m.

Hawtin may cause trouble on dancefloors but at least he doesn’t cause a ruckus at airports. You know the guy who holds up the line at the terminal gates because his bag or package (not that one) needs to be sniffed for bombs? Well “mild-mannered” trance DJ Christopher Lawrence was That Guy two weeks ago at LAX. A box of gear he was shipping Down Under to his Melbourne studio had traces of explosives on it, resulting in swift appearances by the bomb squad and the feds! Part of the United Airlines terminal was evacuated, and Lawrence was interviewed by up to 30 officials before he was set free. He shouldn’t feel too terrible: French techno DJ Laurent Garnier was also at the center of an unusual travel mishap. Garnier had to cancel his gig at Centro-Fly a few weeks back because the van delivering his passport and visa was stolen and set afire.

At least I don’t need a visa to DJ in this city: In the interest of maintaining journalistic impartiality, I would like to preface this by saying I have no vested interest in The Village Voice‘s rocking Siren Festival, which just announced its lineup. Again, I would like to stress that I don’t even know—much less care—who most of the bands are. And I’m not the mouthpiece for the publicity department, either, but I can tell you that the headliners Modest Mouse, the Kills, Hot Hot Heat, !!! (pronounced “chick chick chick”), Sahara Hotnights, Northern State, Ted Leo/Pharmacists, Radio 4, the Pattern, and all the other bands, like, totally rule. Our PR lady Jessica Bellucci said so. In case you actually wanna go to this absolutely awesome all-day, all-ages, free party (not that I’m biased), it’s only two torturous months away (Saturday, July 19) at Coney Island, so mark your calendars. Also, I’m spinning with Boozy Jo and the Bag Lady between band sets. (I told you, I’m totally unbiased!)

[email protected]