The Houston-via-Hollywood rapper Riff Raff dropped a new mixtape over the weekend! Titled Summer of Surf, the album includes collaborations with Internet darlings Kitty Pryde, Chief Keef and Lil Debbie; Riff Raff himself contributes quite a few bizarre boasts, not to mention a song titled “Versace Python.” Here’s a handy primer on the project’s most preposterous lines.
18. “I live the life of a Tampax tampon/ Go to sleep leave the lights on.” (“Otis”)
17 “Rap game Julio Franco, Chuck Norris, Texas Ranger/ Ice on my fingers look like I slap-boxed a penguin.” (“Deoin Sandals”)
16. “My sandals are perpendicular.” (“Tatted Like A Biker Boy”)
15. “Why they acting like I ain’t bought the rice and pasta?/ Pull up at the club in a helicopter.” (“So Throwed”)
14. “Slapped a bitch on purpose and didn’t say sorry/ But I can play Atari through an African safari.” (“Cookie Crisp”)
13. “Candy fuchsia Buick/ Martha Stewart transmission fluid.” (“Jenny Craig”)
12. “So far from clear ’cause they resemble frozen lettuce/ 91 degrees out and buzzin’, you ever seen melted lime jello?” (“Orion’s Belt”)
11. “I used to turn boys to girls/ Now I pull up in the bowling bowl swirl/ I’m in bowling lanes.” (“Otis”)
10. “Used to drive a Porsche (Porsche Porsche) cayenne/ Traffic in Iran got my dodging trash cans.” (“Porsche Cayenne”)
9. “Butter-knife the chopper, razor blade the marg’/ I beg your pardon Olive Garden Aston Martin.” (“Squirt”)
Riff Raff & Kitty Pryde, “Orion’s Belt”
8. “When it comes to hateful words, I got skin like a rhinoceros/ Diamonds on my binder, fourth grade I was immaculate.” (“Orion’s Belt”)
7. “Swang a motorcycle/ Leaning like the Eiffel, tower.” (“Marc Jacobs”)
6. “I don’t want your girl ’cause she look like Jay Leno/ Never had a wife, oh no, not really. (“Deoin Sandals”)
5. “Perm-pressed hair smells like Sharon Stone/ Pluto-shaped ass, eyes made by White Castle.” (“You Never Know”)
4. “Pull up in the chariot with glow-in-the-dark Bart Simpson haircut.” (“You Never Know”)
3. “Bad yellow bitch by my feet changing my shoes/ And my shoelaces/ Very very abrasive/ Cut off the lace/ Look like Las Vegas.” (“Cookie Crisp”)
2. “Give me a screwdriver, I can start a Jag/ I done start a Lamborghini with a police badge.” (“Cookie Crisp”)
1. “With tactical air-brushed golden skin, unblemished physique/ Rap game Dawson’s Creek.” (“You Never Know”)