We Want to Get Sued Like Al Franken (but Fox Keeps Ignoring Us)!

You know what they say: The rich get richer, and the poor get . . . well, they don't get sued by Fox News, that's for sure. We think it's completely unfair that bestselling satirist Al Franken is being sued by FOX, and we're not.

After seeing Mr. Franken vault to the top of Amazon.com's bestsellers list, we hastily threw together I Gave a Hand-Job to Jacques Chirac: A Fair and Balanced Look at Sean Hannity's Hand-Job to Jacques Chirac. We sent galleys to everybody in FOX's legal department with a nice note asking them to bring suit, then sat back and waited for the maelstrom of sales to descend. But so far, nothing.

Hand-Job is certainly much more objectionable than whatever Franken has in store, not just from a legal perspective but every other one we could think of. Our book is incredibly coarse, appallingly misleading, libelous, and slanderous, endangers national security, and has "A Product of FOX News" printed in big letters at the top of every page. Yet their lawyers are silent. What kind of country are we living in, where a huge multinational refuses to squelch the little guy? Just because it never does anything but make them look foolish and sell scads of whatever they’re trying to stop, that doesn't mean they should be allowed to not do it!

We know our rights! We demand fair play! Don’t make us publish My Name Is Rupert Murdoch, Watch Me Wet My Pants: A Fair and Balanced Etc., Etc. WE WILL DO IT!