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Dan Weiss is 26, stands five-foot-six, weighs about 130 pounds, and has a thin chinstrap beard outlining his jawwithout the scruff, he looks 12. This Tuesday afternoon in March is the first time weve ever met, even though hes a freelance music writer and weve been e-mailing each other professionally for years.
I first took an interest in him in September 2009, when he reviewed a live show of the Coathangers, a scrappy all-female grrrl-wave four-piece from Atlanta. In a note that was apropos of nothing really, he mentioned that he had taken out a description of the women in the band as super-cute, because, he said, he didnt want anyone to think he was into skinny girls.
His Facebook profile filled in some of the blanks. He wore black-rimmed glasses and uniformly tight band T-shirts. He had shaggy black hair that fell in wiry squiggles. He played guitar and studied English at William Paterson University. There were snapshots of him posed with a beautiful young woman who appeared to be more than twice his size, wearing a French-maid Halloween costume. And there was a link to Ask a Guy Who Likes Fat Chicks, an unsigned advice-column blog for your plumper-related stumpers.
Entries happily, ravenously, robustly referenced double bellies, back rolls, and big old ham thighs. Feminine body shapes were compared to pears, apples, and one calabash squash; their weights spanned from 180 pounds to over 500. Big Fat Sexy Kitty, a young woman who described herself as five feet tall and 260 pounds, wrote in: I want fat sex. I want my jiggly bits rubbed and squished and fondled sexually.
In person at the East Village's Cafe Orlin, Dan explains that, yes, he likes round bellies. He likes double chins. He likes breasts the size of his head. He loves flabby biceps. Fat upper arms are awesome. I would almost say Im an arms guy, he says, not by any means whispering. I didnt know that they would be that soft. I, like, fell asleep on a girls arm once. I was like, Wow.
The blog Ask a Guy Who Likes Fat Chicks began on a whim, with Dan posting during his border-crossing bus sojourns to visit his long-distance girlfriend of two years, the smoky-eyed French maid from Toronto. The phrase Fat Chicks was meant to be a reversal of the college-humor slogan No Fat Chicks. And in the online world of Facebook groups and BBW (Big Beautiful Woman) messageboards that Dan inhabits, fat is preferable to overweight, which implies a standard, or hefty, which belongs to the trash bag, or heavy, which sounds like furniture. And Fat Admirer is the most frequent shorthand for straight men who prefer fat partnersthe better-known term Chubby Chaser has become associated with the gay community.
Too lazy to consider himself an activist, but cocky enough to be the mouthy weakling who would be getting my neck rung by the bully and still saying shit, Dan is ego-driven enough to envision a greater purpose. Society sucks, and society says you need male validation. If youre trying to say fat is attractive, as a lot of women out there are, it helps to find legitimate people who find this attractive. Or, as he put it more bluntly on his Facebook page, after contributing two pro-fat pieces to lady blog The Hairpin, I write about my preference for fat women in hopes that other men who share my preference will make themselves known so theyll stop being little ballsacks and let the millions of fat women in this country find them.
In other words, Guys Who Like Fat Chicks are not make-believe. Were out there.
Dear Askaguywholikesfatchicks: Why do you like fat chicks? Sincerely, A Fat Chick
Im so glad you asked. But the answer is: I dont know. Its the same I-dont-know that pubescent boys will tell you after waking up strangely soaked from a night of dreaming aboutI dont know, Ashley Tisdale. The real question is, why are so many Fat Admirers in denial? I cant tell you how many guys (or gals) there are like me, and a good portion of them being in the closet makes the numbers even fuzzier. Over half the U.S. is consideredDUN DUN DUNoverweight. Someones fucking all the fatties.* Be a sport and let them know.
*Contrary to popular belief, its not me. [January 7, 2009]
Once upon a time, if a young man wanted to see a fat girl naked, he actually had to woo her. Playboy and Penthouse didnt publish stretch-mark-mapped centerfolds. BBW nude-model paysites like PlumpPrincess.com and BigCuties.com did not exist. Dan didnt have that problem. An early memory was having Entertainment Weekly, cutting out pictures of Anna Nicole Smith in the Guess ads, and just studying her boobs. But unlike his Fat-Appreciating forebears, he had the Internet. I was looking for bigger and bigger boobs online, and when you looked at bigger and bigger boobs, you wound up finding bigger girls. And I was like, Oh, wait. I like all of this.