By Albert Samaha
By Steve Weinstein
By Devon Maloney
By Tessa Stuart
By Alison Flowers
By Albert Samaha
By Jesse Jarnow
By Eric Tsetsi
Dan Weiss is 26, stands five-foot-six, weighs about 130 pounds, and has a thin chinstrap beard outlining his jawwithout the scruff, he looks 12. This Tuesday afternoon in March is the first time weve ever met, even though hes a freelance music writer and weve been e-mailing each other professionally for years.
I first took an interest in him in September 2009, when he reviewed a live show of the Coathangers, a scrappy all-female grrrl-wave four-piece from Atlanta. In a note that was apropos of nothing really, he mentioned that he had taken out a description of the women in the band as super-cute, because, he said, he didnt want anyone to think he was into skinny girls.
His Facebook profile filled in some of the blanks. He wore black-rimmed glasses and uniformly tight band T-shirts. He had shaggy black hair that fell in wiry squiggles. He played guitar and studied English at William Paterson University. There were snapshots of him posed with a beautiful young woman who appeared to be more than twice his size, wearing a French-maid Halloween costume. And there was a link to Ask a Guy Who Likes Fat Chicks, an unsigned advice-column blog for your plumper-related stumpers.
Entries happily, ravenously, robustly referenced double bellies, back rolls, and big old ham thighs. Feminine body shapes were compared to pears, apples, and one calabash squash; their weights spanned from 180 pounds to over 500. Big Fat Sexy Kitty, a young woman who described herself as five feet tall and 260 pounds, wrote in: I want fat sex. I want my jiggly bits rubbed and squished and fondled sexually.
In person at the East Village's Cafe Orlin, Dan explains that, yes, he likes round bellies. He likes double chins. He likes breasts the size of his head. He loves flabby biceps. Fat upper arms are awesome. I would almost say Im an arms guy, he says, not by any means whispering. I didnt know that they would be that soft. I, like, fell asleep on a girls arm once. I was like, Wow.
The blog Ask a Guy Who Likes Fat Chicks began on a whim, with Dan posting during his border-crossing bus sojourns to visit his long-distance girlfriend of two years, the smoky-eyed French maid from Toronto. The phrase Fat Chicks was meant to be a reversal of the college-humor slogan No Fat Chicks. And in the online world of Facebook groups and BBW (Big Beautiful Woman) messageboards that Dan inhabits, fat is preferable to overweight, which implies a standard, or hefty, which belongs to the trash bag, or heavy, which sounds like furniture. And Fat Admirer is the most frequent shorthand for straight men who prefer fat partnersthe better-known term Chubby Chaser has become associated with the gay community.
Too lazy to consider himself an activist, but cocky enough to be the mouthy weakling who would be getting my neck rung by the bully and still saying shit, Dan is ego-driven enough to envision a greater purpose. Society sucks, and society says you need male validation. If youre trying to say fat is attractive, as a lot of women out there are, it helps to find legitimate people who find this attractive. Or, as he put it more bluntly on his Facebook page, after contributing two pro-fat pieces to lady blog The Hairpin, I write about my preference for fat women in hopes that other men who share my preference will make themselves known so theyll stop being little ballsacks and let the millions of fat women in this country find them.
In other words, Guys Who Like Fat Chicks are not make-believe. Were out there.
Dear Askaguywholikesfatchicks: Why do you like fat chicks? Sincerely, A Fat Chick
Im so glad you asked. But the answer is: I dont know. Its the same I-dont-know that pubescent boys will tell you after waking up strangely soaked from a night of dreaming aboutI dont know, Ashley Tisdale. The real question is, why are so many Fat Admirers in denial? I cant tell you how many guys (or gals) there are like me, and a good portion of them being in the closet makes the numbers even fuzzier. Over half the U.S. is consideredDUN DUN DUNoverweight. Someones fucking all the fatties.* Be a sport and let them know.
*Contrary to popular belief, its not me. [January 7, 2009]
Once upon a time, if a young man wanted to see a fat girl naked, he actually had to woo her. Playboy and Penthouse didnt publish stretch-mark-mapped centerfolds. BBW nude-model paysites like PlumpPrincess.com and BigCuties.com did not exist. Dan didnt have that problem. An early memory was having Entertainment Weekly, cutting out pictures of Anna Nicole Smith in the Guess ads, and just studying her boobs. But unlike his Fat-Appreciating forebears, he had the Internet. I was looking for bigger and bigger boobs online, and when you looked at bigger and bigger boobs, you wound up finding bigger girls. And I was like, Oh, wait. I like all of this.
Kevin N., a marine biology doctoral candidate at the University of Maine, Orono, figured it out on the school bus. This girl sat next to me, and she was about 300 poundsshe was gorgeous, she was blond, the class of 2000 high school graduate offers over the phone. That day, everyone had to sit three to a seat. I was up against the window, she had to push up against me, and the other kid was sitting with one ass cheek hanging off the seat. Im just sitting there with my backpack on my lap, like, Huhhhh. That was the first public erection he ever had. You realize, I think I like this.
Immediately, that made him different. In high school, you have your prototypical locker-room discussion, Hey, did you see so-and-so? says Kevin, who recently got engaged to a 25-year-old Ohio woman he met five years ago in a BBW chat room. You cant come out and say, Oh, no, not really, because youll then get, What are you, some sort of fag?
Thats what everyone assumed about the Red Sox fan anyway. A basketball player with type 1 diabetes, the Rhode Islander was five-foot-10 and 131 pounds at his Coventry high school. Meanwhile, his pretty girlfriend was an all-state softball playersize 16, five feet nine inches tall, maybe 200 poundsbut could bench more than her scrawny boyfriend. A rumor spread that he was gay, which he didnt bother to refute. Liking a fat girl was so much more of a preposterous scenario that he worried the truth would make it snowball even more.
Fat Admirers (FA) have historically adopted queer nomenclature for their self-discovery stages and preferences. Men who openly pursue, prefer, and date fat women are out. Men who like fat women but more or less hide them from friends and family are closeted. Men who say they like both skinny and supersize women ones are bisizuals, a controversial term thats regarded as disingenuous in various online circles.
Keith Ferguson, a 24-year-old FA from Westchester (We had two African-American kids in our schools and one fat girl), wonders if he would have been treated better if hed been gay. The immediate reception from my friends was, Youre a fetishistic freak, and I cant believe I hang out with you. He confided in a friend, who then spilled it to their freshman class. Its almost like the same level of stigma that a homosexual would deal with. But in high school, there were two out gay kids before I turned 16. People were like, Ah-hahaha, youre gay. They were maybe on the outskirts of the socially accepted circle, at the end of the day, but enough people liked them that it didnt really matter. For me, I was actually ostracized.
Even from his family. Keith, a six-foot-one, 180-pound blond smoker who was raised eating twigs and sticks, didnt speak to his mother for years. She always had a certain mentality. Shed make jokes like, If I got that fat, just smack me. The Biggest Loser is her favorite show: Shes like, Oh, my God, I cant believe how much weight they lost. Shes obsessed with not being fat. There were other problems at home, but his declaration, at age 12, that he liked fat chicks was the tipping point. For her son to prefer fat women? That was her biggest nightmare in the world. He moved out by 15.
If someone starts talking about guys who like fat women or girls who like fat men, the first reaction is, Ewww, says Keith, who has just lovingly rubbed the tummy of his 300-pound thirtysomething professor girlfriend in a corner booth at Nolita bar Puck Fair. (Im the only fat person in my building, by far, she admits. I walk around this area, and I never see fat people.) The second is, What the fuck is wrong with you? The third is, That is so unhealthy, and youre killing the person you want to be with. It all leads up to: We dont want to talk to you. Get the fuck away.
Is it because fat girls are easy?
If only. Try convincing an archetypal easy fat girl to do it with the light on, or let you play with her belly, or refer to her as fat without sobbing and trying to throw up the nice dinner you bought her. Spend weeks convincing her youre Not Joking, your buddys not gonna jump out of the closet with Tucker Max and a camera. Fat girls are just as complicated and frustrating as any other earthling.
The skinny on Lawrence is that hes charming, impossibly smart, and a bachelorhe dates, but hes keeping his options open. Since, he says, 99 percent of the women you see in magazines, I couldnt get it up for, the 28-year-old Upper West Side resident gets lumped into the Fat Admirer catchall, though he winces at the self-help-sounding moniker that has been adopted as an identifier. Fat Admirer? Do I ever really say that? I just like fat chicks, thats all.
By any name, he agrees its a species of questionable existence. Thin women are especially dubious. A girl youre in the office with will be like, Im so fat, Im never going to find anyone, he offers. I will say, No, plenty of guys like thatits not a negative, its a positive. And these women justhe shakes his head in bemused disbeliefvehemently deny it: Whatever, no, thats absolutely not true. And it absolutely is. He hesitates. I could go the next step and reveal myself, he admits. But I dont want to talk about that at the office.
Fortunately, were a safe distance away from the Theater District, where Lawrence holds a desk job in the fairly gossipy performing-arts field and aspires to become a producer. His professional ambitions are one reason the California native asked to be identified under a pseudonym. Another, he explains from the back corner of Malachys Pub, a narrow West 72nd drinking trough, is the insidiously growing tentacles of the information era. I dont want to be the guy who talks to a reporter about anything. It doesnt matter if its fat chicks or sports or having peanut butter shoved up my ass. Peanut butter, you say? I dont want sexuality to be on my public dossier.
Lawrence has thick brown hair, a beard that grows like crabgrass, and a toothy smile. He speaks confidently over whiskey, and as he lays out the popular misconceptions of quote-unquote Fat Admirers, its with the measured air of someone delivering a prepared monologue.
Misconception #1: Loving fat women is a fetish.
Steve, over there, has a type, says Lawrence gesturing wanly at a stranger in a hockey jersey probably not named Steve. I have a type, too. Mines just bigger. He may like skinny blondes with bangs and long legs. I like pear shapes with brown hair and green eyes. I have a typeit just happens to be fat. Besides, people arent fetish objects, theyre people. Its not like having a thing for leather.
Misconception #2: Fat Admirers pursue fat women because they are vulnerable prey.
People seem to think were like, Im going to go after the weak zebra in the herd, the one thats limping along sad and pathetically in the back, and Im going to exert one-third of the energy to get what I need. First of all Lawrence hesitates. For a while. I was going to say that its not easier for guys. Thats a lie. It is. Its a fact that theres less competition. Thats unfortunate. But that has nothing to do with the impetus or the attraction.
Misconception #3: Guys who are sexually attracted to fat chicks are sexually attracted to all fat chicks.
People often conflate bigness with beautybeing big is not what makes you beautiful, its being both simultaneously, says Lawrence. All the other normal benchmarks of attractiveness are in place. Proportions, symmetry, everything else, from tone of voice to texture of skin. That is exactly the same. Its just that youre talking about a different scale. (As Janssen McCormick, a twentysomething FA from Massachusetts, puts it, People send me links to articles about giant toothless women who get arrested for shoplifting turkeys under their boobs and are like, Hey, isnt that your type of gal? He sighs. No, I dont find giant toothless ladies who steal turkeys under their boobs from Wal-Mart hot.)
Misconception #4: Sex with a 110-pound woman is preferable to celibacy.
Nope. Its like, What, are you just going to go out and have sex with skinny women until you find a bigger one you like? No, youre not. Youre just going to stay home. (With a sex life devoid of fat asses, I reckon Id start coveting everyone I see leaving an Ashley Stewart or Wal-Mart, Dan wrote on Ask a Guy Who Likes Fat Chicks.)
Misconception #5: Its easy to pick up a fat chick.
Lawrence shakes his head. A big girl at a bar tends to feel like there must be some sort of joke going on, he says. Partly because the double-chinned woman in the hip-hiding shrug is so used to being ignored; partly because the specter of hogging, the frat-boy prank practice of nailing a fat chick on a bromo dare, casts a pall even on innocent flirting. Its hard to be smooth when youre trying to convince someone that youre not playing a trick. Lawrence says hes only met women out successfully once or twice. Generally speaking, the odds are very much against you. (You have to be defensive because there are guys who are hogging, there are guys who are going to humiliate you, counters one 300-pound thirtysomething New Yorker. Also, its internalized self-hatred, because youre like, If you like me, you must be a freak, because why would you like somebody who is fat? )
Misconception #6: Youve got to be kidding, right?
Nope. Lawrence, who sometimes fantasizes about a 550-pound wife, thinks the smallest he could go would be 180 pounds, though that veers into bisizualism. Ideally, no. But youd want to meet the girls mother. If shes in her early 20s, and shes 180 pounds, check out where its going. You might be pleasantly surprised. You walk in, and see her [mom] and shes like, really big, and youre like, YES! Youre stoked. The genes dont lie. But she shouldnt be sloppy. If the mom is in the muumuu, and just given up in life, youre like, Oh, shit. You dont want that.
So where do Guys Who Like Fat Chicks meet them? Online, of course.
The attention Ill get online is so much more frequent than what I experience in real life, says Jennifer K., a 27-year-old 400-pound redhead living in Jacksonville, Florida. The men she's met and dated haven't been creeps. These arent weird guys. These arent creepy 60-year-old guys with big bellies and fapping away behind their computers. These are totally normal guys.
This is a community for people who feel differently, says Lawrence about FA-friendly forums like Dimensions or Curvage or various size-acceptance Facebook-group spin-offs. These are communities that have become gathering places for those who have sort of shrugged off the yoke of self-loathing. You have to go to these safe areas where everyone has sort of been checked. Are you OK with yourself? Are you OK with yourself? OK, come on in.
Dear Askaguywholikesfatchicks: What is the biggest/heaviest woman you have been with and did you have difficulty making love to her? Kelly Kyle
She was over 500 pounds and I dont recall any difficulty. Ive had difficulty with women smaller than that, though. [June 24, 2010]
If you were at the Times Square Juniors Cheesecake on the last Friday in March, say between the lunch rush of 1:30 and 3, and you happened to notice the 480-ish-pound woman in a thin cardigan, halter top, and Internet-purchased pants presiding over a plate of corned beef and pastrami on rye with steak fries (which she didnt finish, but had wrapped), your first thought probably wasnt, Wow, I bet lots of men are into her. If you later witnessed the bespectacled girl coyly photograph her slice of strawberry-shortcake cheesecake to make her friend Randy extremely jealous or coquettishly rate the dessert as not quite better than sex, but almost, you probably wouldnt have thought shed have the opportunity to compare the two as soon as tonight. If, after the check was paid, you saw her out front, sweetly struggling to climb into the SUV cab, you probably didnt assume that she was heading back to the hotel to gussy herself up for a man who came from Europe to the United States specifically to be with her. I just dont think people look at me at a restaurant and think, That girl has a really awesome dating life.
Yet thats the backstory on Charlotte, a 32-year-old from the South introduced as 500 pounds, but walking who gets hit on all the time. (She's employed by her Southern state government, and asked to be identified under a pseudonym.) In fact, the reason she is in New York for three nights, staying at the Candlewood Suites on West 39th, is a date. Several dates, though primarily ones with a fortysomething immigration lawyer from Spain. But there was also one last night, as it serendipitously turns out, with Lawrence, whom Charlotte has had a bit of a crush on for a while. But shes looking for a longer-term commitment, Lawrence honestly isnt, so for me, hed just be a really fun weekend. Nothing transpired last night, though he did ask her to call him tomorrow if things didnt work out with the lawyer.
That would be Spanish Guy. Charlotte stutters, and certain words make the stammering worse, as does exhaustion, so Spanish Guy is easier to enunciate than her paramours real name, even though shes bilingual. Theyve been flirting online regularly for five years. He has professed his love, but shes understandably wary since theyd never met in person until last nightafter she went out with Lawrence. Their first encounter was awkward, she confesses. He was just very nervous. The evening ended in her hotel room, but strictly under conversational pretenses; tired, she sent him off. He starts walking toward the door, and then he turns, and gets bright red and hes like, You dont like me as anything more than friends, do you? And I just kind of looked at him. He was really serious. So I just yanked him over to me and kissed him. Then she sent him away. Tonight, theyre going to MOMA (Hes really into art) and then a jazz club.
There arent many fat girls in Spain, reports Charlotte, who spent six months as an exchange student there in 2006. Back then, she weighed 425, and she claims that the department organizers at her Northeastern womens college tried to dissuade her from going abroad because she was too big. She balked and went anyway, though she admits European daily life was far more taxing: The public bathrooms were itty-bitty, the online clothes retailers she frequents didnt service Spain (Lane Bryants sizes are too small for her), and walking was the primary method of transportation. Anytime I would walk down the street, people would stare at me like I was a circus sideshow. Here, people kind of like glance out of their eyes, but there people would stop and stare as I walked by.
One time in Spain, an old woman spotted Charlotte in public, stopped abruptly, and crossed herself. Like I was Satan.
After walking four miles a day overseas, Charlotte lost 75 pounds, which she gained back upon return. And then some. Roller-coaster weight spikes and dips have steered her life since she was a small child. Her folks split when she was a normal little healthy two-year-old girl with dimples and Shirley Temple curls; she and her mother moved in with her grandparents. Grandma always had body issues. She was probably about 225 or so and she always hated herself and was trying to lose weight and gaining it back, she says, apologizing for drawing the conversation into such solemn territory. My mom worked really long hours, so grandma was basically raising me. She put me on this diet and made me so small that my pediatrician said something to her. And then she would start feeding me what they ate, which was potatoes and junk food, until I got fat. Then she would put me on a diet again.
Charlotte is pretty sure that all the yo-yo dieting of her adolescence screwed up her metabolism permanently. Her first long-term boyfriend was a 21-year-old with a little bit of a potbelly going on whom shed met online gaming. But after more than a year of having a 325-pound girlfriend, he caved to frat-boy peer pressure. His friends couldnt stand the thought of one of their friends dating someone as fat as me, she shares matter-of-factly. Finally, he said, Youre going to have to lose weight, or were going to have to break up. And I loved himI really loved himso I really tried. I tried to lose weight, I tried dieting, I tried, and as with every diet Ive ever been on, I ended up 75 pounds heavier than when I started. So that took me to 425. And he broke up with me.
Shes moved on, and in rather spectacular fashion. Scouring the Internet for plus-size clothes, shed discovered BBW chat rooms when she was 18, and subsequently, a community of Fat Admirers rabidly attracted to her. Naturally, she explored this inverse reality, when it came time. I had a rep she pauses to get the word out, reputation for a little while. I did! I totally did! As a slut! Ive been with seven people in my life. I do not feel thats excessive. I am extraordinarily picky, but I am not one of those women who plays games. If I want to sleep with a guy, I dont necessarily make him wait until the third date. Were adults!
At the moment, shes not sure if she likes Spanish Guy like that or not. Hes already called three times during lunchhis photo pops up when he rings, and the man pictured is a conventionally attractive manbut it was an hour earlier than she told him to call, so she shut off her phone. What really pisses me off is the attitude that, like, that guy is dating below his league just because the girl hes dating is fat. And in fact, I may well be above his league, she laughs. You cant know that, unless you know who I am.
Among the fat community, theres a particularly infamous CSI episode centered around a fat woman having sex on top and killing her partner. She was only 250 or 300 pounds or something like that, says Charlotte. I have been 500 pounds, and I would like to say that on top is my favorite position! I have not killed anybody yet. She smirks. Its just interesting the way that society sees fat sexuality, she says. It doesnt exist, or it kills you.
Dear Askaguywholikesfatchicks: Is this because you think you cant do any better? BBB
Yes, but not in the way youre thinking.
Its like one big boob. Thats Dans shorthand explanation for what its like to be with fat women, what their bodies feel like naked, and the physical attributes hes found himself attracted to his entire life. If it sounds crass, well, thats the best way he can explain his fat attraction to other straight guys who express befuddlement and disgust. Its the same property: Men like fondling soft breasts, and I dont get why that doesnt apply to the whole body.
It doesnt in many, many Western minds. Even the author of the 20th centurys big-ass anthem doesnt like fat chicks. You know, Baby Got Back, the 1992 Sir Mix-a-Lot hip-hop classic that blasts, proudly, defiantly, ravenously: I Like. Big. Butts! And I cannot lie! Sure, the Seattle rappers anthem is technically one with an itty-bitty waist planted atop a real thick and juicy backside, the provenance of Shakira wannabes and King magazine. But many Fat Admirers have adopted it as their own. A rap-metal cover of the track appears, as nether-region salute with a version of Ted Nugents Thunder Thighs, on last years BBW-friendly compilation WHOLE LOTTA LOVE: An All-Star Salute to Fat Chicks.
According to the man born Anthony Ray, thats not at all what he meant. Im talking about the dumbbell shape. The coke bottle, he clarifies over the phone from Atlanta. Ive seen girls that look like me and been like, Ohhhhh, Im Babys got Back! And Im like, No, no, no, no. It wasnt Baby Got Back and Center, and Middle, and Front. He does understand, though, why some of these FA fellows might get confused. Obviously, more white people like the song than black. Black people kind of view Baby Got Back as like, Oh, yeah, we already knew that. Its not even an issue to them. They wouldnt even think to sing about it. Whereas white guys are kind of like, Yeah, finally! (See the full Sir Mix-a-Lot interview here.)
Maybe so. Yet the cultural stigma of fat is spreading globally. Rapidly. Arizona State University researchers asked residents with an average BMI of 25 from 10 places like American Samoa, Puerto Rico, and Mexicoplaces where both fat and thin bodies were traditionally attractiveto assign true or false beliefs to cultural statements like, People should be proud of their big bodies (false in every country surveyed but Tanzania) and A big woman is a beautiful woman. The latter was, in every country, deemed false. Fifteen years ago in American Samoa, fat bodies didnt have a negative salience, and thats shifted, says Alexandra Brewis, executive director of the School of Human Evolution and Social Change at Arizona State University, who oversaw the April 2011 study. She fingers the spread of American media and the moral implications of the War of Obesity. Theres a lot of people who didnt realize that they should be ashamed of their bodies are now probably learning to be.
Fat is a risk factor, argues one thirty-something New Yorkbased physician who is African-American and also identifies as a Fat Admirer. Its also a proxy, but also an inaccurate proxy. Some people work out every day and are still fat; some people dont work out at all and are fat; some people dont work out at all and are skinny; some people work out a lot and are skinny. Its very individual. You cant be so declarative about it. (The standard medical response is that nearly all people with a BMI over 30 would be healthier at a lower weight.)
One statistic Id really like to know is how many people have banged a fat person, wonders Dan. Ive heard guys I know say, I wanna see what its like to sleep with a 500-pound woman. There has to be some idea that it might feel good, or that it could be interesting to say thatyoure not going to say, Im going to sleep with a porcupine just to see what its like. Its not that I defend closet FAs, Im just very interested in not dismissing them. Lets say half or more than half of our population is dormant and nothing is being done with them.Dan likes to imagine a Guys Who Likes Fat Chicks census. So many girls end up entering the community just because of one guy, he says. Just discovering Wow, I can be attractive! And that changes your life. It just never occurred to you before, which is so weird, he pauses. Thats why Im willing to put my lifeif you want to call it thaton the line for this.
firstname.lastname@example.org | @camilledodero
I love big men,so sexy to grab hold of something soft.I am my self a large woman,would really like some large sexy male to cuddle up against.
Hi im bbw im looking for my dream man . I want a nice guy . Im kind friendly sweet i just been looking and looking for him . Im 40 years old . Just looking for my man . :)
been a while i long for chubs girls,i just want to settle down now,in need of a big and beautiful lady,pls contact asap via +447572930185 ,await your swift respond sooner,thanks
i love white chubby girls with thick thighs and always dream to meet,is there some chubby girl? please write me i will be glad 2 meet
i love white chubby girls with thick thighs and always dream to meet,is there some chubby girl? please write me i will be glad 2 meet
I've known about this for a while and though it's an interesting change from men and boys who are fixated on thin women, "fat chicks" and "thin chicks" are not actual people. How about being into Susan or Tanisha or Madeline or whoever, because she is smart and sweet and easy to get along with? Are there women and girls who are only interested in "thin guys" or "fat guys" or is that strictly a male phenomenon? Objectifying people is no way to encourage healthy relationships or dismantle the ever-present rape culture we live in.
Wow this is awesome, I am a bbw and this new found world has boosted my spirit. I have always loved me and this just takes my love for me into a different realm.
Wow this is awesome, I am a bbw and this new found world has boosted my spirit. I have always loved me and this just takes my love for me into a different realm.
I'M LOOKING FOR A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP I'M LOOKING FOR A HONEST Big FAT WOMAN IF U'RE INTERESTED add me or inbox me i'm honest and serious, you can also add me on skype as de.governor01 or friend me on fb
Fabulous web site I have just found of a classy fat lady think I'm in love!
Not all fat women have low self-esteem and have health problems. I'm 5'3", 205 lbs and I run 4x week and do yoga 3x. Yes, I'm fat and I'm a walking contradiction to what health scientists have researched. Matter of fact, I should be dead b/c of my BMI, but I'm not. I exercise, I eat, I date, I don't hate myself, and I really think one can be big and healthy. Big people shouldn't have to feel like they need to lose weight before they start a new exercise or start dating or just to start something different. Do it now! B/c you only have one life. I'll prove it to you, check out my running/health blog, www.BigGirlsRun2.com
We all have different dating preferences and it's a good thing. If we all liked the same thing then we would be fighting over the same thing all the time. Fat can be beautiful and fat can be healthy. And, liking and dating fat people are not a fetish, it's a preference.
Guys who like fat chicks have a sick fantasy of breaking into the zoo and raping the hippos. That is the only reason they like fat women. Celulite is disgusting. Rolls, double chin/neck, jello arms, stretch marks ugh i'm getting sick. FAt women are disgusting
fat girls work the magic than skinny girls and nothing is better the a girl wife more meat on the bone.i live it.
most of the people think that fat girls are ard or every body hate these girls, but as a human being we should not think about these kinds of things they are also part of our soceity we should not ignore their sentments neither we have the right to play their emotions, as a media person i like fat girls and i looking a good fat girl which is beatiful this message i put for those girls who is interesting me i was just 15 when i impress very much with fat girls but sometimes i hesitate to say any body that i am interested with fat girls. with best regards, country india state jammu and kashmir cell : 09596453647
I don't know about most but my reason for liking fat women has nothing to do with any misplace emotions, fears or fetishes. I've had a thing for them since I was younger, I just loved being with someone I can hold on to, someone that doesn't mind me hugging them. Its nothing personal to smaller women I just like what I like. Most of the women I've dated in my life were fat, we had great relationships, interesting conversations, and well our sex life well lets put it like this, things I've done with my girlfriend most dude who have petite girlfriends wish they could do with their chick. People just need to get over the fact that no matter what other people think its what the person whose dating said person whether their a Fat man or a woman. Bottom line is its not your relationship! Who arre you to judge?
If guys like big girls, good. If they don't, good for them too. Anything someone is attracted to shouldn't be looked down upon. What really annoys me is when people talk shit about bigger people though.. Are you perfect? Perfect personality, perfect looks, and have never done anything wrong in your entire life? If so, THEN you can say something, but seeing as how no one alive has ever been perfect, you just need to stfu. Do you criticize people when they have a different sexuality or a different race? Why is it acceptable to make fun of someone for their weight, but not those things.. No one should judge anyone for those types of things. If you find a fat girl that is lazy then dislike that about them, but just know that you'll find just as many lazy skinny girls too. I don't understand how people can ruthlessly judge someone that they don't even know, based on what they look like. If you think someone is unattractive, good for you, don't look, no one is forcing you to and their life does NOT concern you in any possible way. Mind your own business and live your OWN life instead of pointing out what you see as a flaw in someone else. & it doesn't matter if you think they're hideous.. maybe they feel the same way about you. People just need to grow up.
Some of these BBW pages on FB are disturbing as they tend to be soft porn which is not allowed per company policy; yet that doesn't deter these women to pose as they do as I guess they need total validation from strangers that they are sexy and desirable. But it is odd that most men from other countries are the ones who seem to think so. I am just appalled as to what they post as this are no "age restrictions" or adult pages on this site, and youngsters could easily find them as their pages/groups are open. I wonder about their morals and integrity...as I would others who have done this as well, but now this is almost like a cult. But then, too, are are those whose pages lead to their porn site addy's right which is illegal as well. To be fat/obese and like yourself is one thing; but to show it as they do, that is for sites other than FB. And most claim they are healthy....but wait until they are 50+ and then come back and tell us that as obesity DOES leads to health problems that cost us taxpayers and health companies money, plain and simple and there is nothing sexy about that.
I come from a family of athletes so I had to learn to deal with criticism and rejection early on. I have always had issues with my weight. It's been a roller coaster. I gain weight in junior high. And had some really hard times dealing with my peers. I didn't think any of the guys really liked me until my first love. He would defend our relationship to any and everyone who opposed even his teammates. When I went to college my confidence skyrocketed. I realized it wasn't meant for everyone to appreciate all that God gave me. And that all this love could only be appreciated by a select few. So yes I am fat. But that is only a fraction of the women I am. Don't judge the book before you read it. If I can take from the people I love. Who gives a fuck what the rest of the world has to say. If you don't like it don't look. If you can't help but look, take a picture and use it to get off with.
i am a happy fat girl...... now thanks to the internet, as i teenager i was an unhappy fat girl as everyone told me i needed to diet to find a man...i was thinner when i met him. but im far happier now that im fat and living my life for me. he tells me everyday how perfect i am. Yet he isn't a fat admirer just a man who loves his wife no mater her size.
Nice article, fatties are hot, my current girlfriend loves her fat and having it jiggled and played with and is turned on by overeating, stuffing and growing fatter which is ideal!!
Aren't they supposed to be human beings also!! why discriminating and why the priority to skinny girls with bones poking their whole body!! Chubby girls and BBWs are beautiful, affectionate, tender, soulful, and HOT.. They will definitely make you happy. Salute to every big girl out here, WE LOVE YOU ALL :)
My boyfriend pretty much summed it up this way "I like the way you look and if they don't it doesn't matter and if they want to continue to push the issue, I got two fists that would love to discuss it further." I love that man
It just goes to show that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I think this is a great article that shows there is someone out there for everyone and everyone is beautiful in their own way. As I get older and more mature, its more about who the person is, their style that makes them attractive. Looks are great but its not the only thing that makes someone attractive. Very touching!
OK I have been reading the comments and I have to say a few things. If some on here don't like fat girls and thinks its disgusting then OK. Its your life you can like what you want to and do whatever the hell you want to but don't put us down like some of you do. We have feelings too you know. And second, not all skinny people are healthier than fat people. I have a friend who is a size 6 ( l am a size 24) and she has some of the worst problems ever because of what she eats and because she is so lazy. I have been put down all my life because of my weight and I tried to kill myself over it once. Sorry I didn't mean to make this sound like I was whining. I'm still waiting for a guy to come along in my life and this gives me hope :)and to all the guys that like us for who we are, thank you. ~ Jill
This ISN'T a fetish. It's a preference. Just like the next guy might prefer his girls with red hair, this guy and many others prefer their women fat. Simple.
I love big ladies they are good to you and know how to treat their Man they will love you a long time... and won't ever cheat, Lie or steal from you.So are you that lady I'm looking for if so email me at email@example.com I'll be waiting for your email....Love Big Girls....hugs and kisses...
I was going to have a date-leading to sex with a chubby girl I met online today but I cancelled.I was afraid she would be fatter than her photos.I banged too many fatties in the past two months. They are easy.I need a change
Why are so many women creeped out by fetishists? Almost all men are fetishists in one way or another. So what? That is just what men are like. I understand that some people consider fetishes dehumanizing, but I don't think appreciating somebody as a human being and appreciating them as an object of desire are mutually exclusive. I feel sorry for men who like fat women, it seems as if there are plenty of men, women, and even fat women who are weirded out by such preferences.
all you big, beautiful women...if you are ever in Chicago ~ hit me up! firstname.lastname@example.org
What bothers me about this kind of comment, is that there are people out there with such low self esteem already, and they are suicidal. Some of us fat girls have doomed ourselves and convinced ourselves that we will be alone for the rest of our lives. It's such a sad fate. Almost everyone wants to be loved unconditionally by someone. And then people like that get on things like this, and spew that hatred for people that are not like them. I can only hope that someone they love gets fat, or actually, I can only hope that they get fat and maybe they will see the world in a different way, but to each his own. There is a special place in hell for them.
You know what I liked about this article and this man they've interviewed? Only ONCE did they use the term BBW. Through everything he just said he liked fat chicks, fat. Fat. FAT. Fucking say it you guys and stop hiding behind dumb terms formed on the internet, seriously.
I am fat, I am gorgeous, and by fucking god I am a woman, but the term BBW turns into a instant fetish or creeper word to me. I'm an intelligent woman and I feel sometimes those terms demean me, do skinny women have a short term? "Skinny Sexy Woman" SSW? If so, please tell me if there is a obsession here because I must be missing out. I can do the terms chubby, overweight, obese, sized, whatever, just not "large ladies" and "big beautiful women" and "chubby chaser" makes me sick as a fat chick.
It's like the racist term for fat people; it's like calling the fucking kettle black. It's offensive while meaning to be explanatory.
Truly I look skinnier than most girls at my wight because they're shorter, but I'm fat. Still fat. Most deny that I'm fat, but I'm fat. I'm OK with it-- Screw all these haters, mayn! Haters gonna fucking hate.
5'8'' 200 lbs at 22 white bitch right here and feelin' good.
Fat may be unhealthy but lets be honest- 95% of people will never lose the weight, so why not just accept ourselves and be happy? However, being a feeder is as destructive as trying to get someone to slim down as it preys on low self esteem and demeans women. We all want to be accepted and loved for who we are- fat thighs or chicken legs.
Look, I am a big girl, and yes It is unhealthy to be like this, but it's really obnoxious when men and women discriminate just because I'm" bigger." my boyfriend is probably not into bigger women, but he stays with me because we love each other and that's all that matters. He has encouraged me to go to the gym and that's what I have been doing. Sometimes all that fat girl or fat guy needs is too feel like they are worth something , so maybe they could change ( I am still happy with my previous weight and who I am now). But to go ahead and tell someone " you just don't have enough self esteem to get a smoking hot woman" is just childish and blind sited. Grow up, if you like a fat girl , but your super healthy, encourage her to workout with you just because you care enough for her. Really, don't be juvenile about the whole concept.
wow, this actually gives me some hope. before coming across the 'ask a guy who likes fat chicks' blog, and through that this artical I would have never believed a guy could be attracted to me (yeah, low self-esteem I know). I'm 17, 5'7 and about 230lbs. And I don't feel ashamed of admitting my weight or anything on here. this makes me happy and makes me think I'll find a good guy that's attracted to me and loves me.
(LONG POST- I'd appreciate people not commenting after reading the first 3 sentences, hold your passion until you've heard me out)
The only clear problem on the face is that being obese is unhealthy, often deadly, and leads to other medical complications e.g. diabetes and heart disease (let's not forge to mention hair loss in women), pregnancy complications, the list goes on and on AND putting a huge strain on US citizens for medical costs and as well threatens their mortality. The reason people are fatter than ever before and obesity rates are increasing, is that processed crap food and soft drinks is readily available whenever and wherever people go about their daily lives. Eat it up people, your playing into the hands the companies that produce and market it wanted you to do. Then people slow down over time after gaining weight, sitting around at a desk job etc, and just become fucking lazy... hence more fatness. I'm not some picky eater who hates KFC or a great burger fries and a soda, or a few nice rounds brews, those things are all enjoyable in life, but when you eat that shit all the time like too many people in this country do, or drink your face off you get fat unhealthy and it catches up to you when you get older. NOTHING WRONG with a woman who has curves that is fucking sexy but sorry that DOESN'T include rolls, back fat, spare tires, crunched aluminum foil backs of thighs, pudgy tree stump fingers, and looking like a fucking cherub. I'm going to venture to say that people who openly seek fat women for the most part figure they don't stand a chance picking up a smoking hot woman. I'm no Casanova and I'm not even going to pretend to bullshit and say "no way" I'd never "be with a bigger girl," been there done that, as well with average, slim, skinny, chubby, yes even fat, but out of all of it nothing compares to being with a beautiful girl with a sexy fit body, sorry NADA... If the guy is missing out because he just can't get himself into a situation like that then he really has no perspective, just an idea of what he's attracted to... Great example, my good friend now dates a girl who has seriously put on some weight after they started dating, and she was chubby/fat to begin with, but when he was seeing this little Italian girl a couple years back, they way he spoke about her you could just hear it in his voice how much more happy he was about his situation. He's the kind of guy that usually ends up with a heavier girl, self proclaimed not good at picking girls up, but he does come through pretty nice sometimes and it's written all over his face that "atta boy!" Let's not kid ourselves everyone can appreciate true beauty. AND I'm not trying to speak to shallowness here, like I said I can be attracted to a chubby girl, personality is VERY important, yea it may be fun to mess around with a really attractive fit woman but if she's a bitch or brainless or conceited that's not someone I'm going to take seriously and will not enter into something serious with that person... And to the point where the person has let themselves go and has lost control, you're just a fucking sucker at that point and unless you do something about it you are short changing the hell out of your life.
Isn't if funny that I have been on face book for a long time and never come across these pages you speak of? I don't doubt that they are there- I just never went looking for them as you seem to have been doing. Are you gay and into big women by some strange chance? I mean here you are again...on a blog about big women? Do you maybe belong to the itty bitty titty committee or the moral majority? (Do they even exist still?) I am joking in a way but I am seriously wondering why you have your tighty whitey cotton panties in a bunch over big women and the men who admire them? Is the gay community too well connected and received for you to target them so you found a new thing to champion? Why single out large women? Did one of you ex's leave you for one? I'd really like to get to the bottom of your fetish to persecute large women. You need to stop stressing - put parental controls ( or as I may suspect...husband controls) on your computer. You don't think you kids see sex and sex related content on television, movies, school buddies stash, computer. Face Book? Hardly where some kid is going to go looking- just like your generation looked up dirty words in the dictionary today's kids are Google them and ogling them a whole lot more. Talk to you kid don't rant at the world because it's a lot more effective.
You are an idiot..... There are numerous FB pages that are equivalent to "soft porn' as you described it. And they are open. There are also many disgusting pictures and videos being spread around FB that contain both skinny and fat women alike. You're whole argument can be thrown out the window. Ugh. And then to say that their weight will cost "us taxpayers and health companies money" Honey.....I'm a plus size women and I pay taxes too....and my own health care. You should really erase your reply to avoid any further embarrassment.
Health factors always play a part. But otherwise--
The comment that someone "can't do better" is a misconception. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years, we split up for a month because his family said I was too fat; I'm 5'8'' and 200 lbs, (I am a gorgeous woman might I add) my height greatly distributes me well. He hooked up (to virtually show this girl off) she was this ultra skinny, obviously generalized more beautiful than me woman; he tried having sex with her, and not from his mouth, but hers, he couldn't because she just didn't have the features he likes, she didn't have the boobies, the cute face, and just flat out called this girl ugly, sand he was mine. She was paper thin, and that his dick would break her. She's not the first stick he's banged, it just doesn't work.
Needless to say, not everyone's mindset is on a fit woman. I can, for a lack of a better term, "ride a dick" just as well as any Sue Jane that walks in that door. Sure, I've got some tits and a little more going on, but I'm amazing at what I do. My self esteem? Higher than any, mind you, skinny bitch I know. :-)