Tea Party Princess

Victoria Jackson went from the big leagues of comedy to the rabid right of modern politics

But Paul had a competitor. "I kind of had a crush on 'Weird Al' Yankovic," Victoria confesses. "We kind of went on a date, but I don't know if he loved me or not."

In Victoria's brain, "there was this fork in the road." Down one path: Paul Wessel and Jesus with their matching abs and life as a poor, pious housewife in Miami. Down the other: "Weird Al," SNL, and loads of sinful showbiz cash.

After making up her mind, she got a tattoo of Paul's initials on her lower back. "Because he's the one that ruined my life," she explains without irony.

Jackson’s handstand, which she learned at age four, earned her attention on SNL.
Giulio Sciorio
Jackson’s handstand, which she learned at age four, earned her attention on SNL.
Jackson rode the Tea Party Express bus with Herman Cain.
Courtesy of Victoria Jackson
Jackson rode the Tea Party Express bus with Herman Cain.

That's why she quit SNL in 1992, she says. She headed back to "the swamp"—as she calls Miami—to marry Paul. Two years later, they had a daughter named Aubrey. Victoria's movie career quickly dried to a crust.

But there's one problem with her morality tale, in which she sacrificed riches and fame to make the perfect God-fearing family.

"No, no, no," agent Dolores Robinson clucks when relayed her former client's claim that she quit SNL. "They dropped her."

Outside a Miami Lakes Starbucks in the pouring rain, Victoria sits under an awning that provides only partial cover. Water soaks her bare legs and pools on her Mac laptop and cell phone. With her Flip cam balanced on a stack of conservative books—Marx & Satan, Socialism Shakedown, The Manchurian President—she recounts taking her youngest daughter, 17-year-old Aubrey, to a "gay party" held by Victoria's "newest gay friend, Seth." (Victoria claims to have three gay friends—Seth, Alex, and Glen—and she makes frequent mention of them.)

"After we left, I asked my daughter what she thought," Victoria says, her eyeglasses missing an earpiece and tilting down her nose. "She said, 'It felt like they were sad and ashamed.' Out of the mouth of babes!

"If you get killed because you're gay, the murderer gets extra time. It's hilarious! Alcoholism is a sin, too, but you don't see an alcoholic-pride parade. Alcoholics hide in little rooms in basements, and they go, 'Hi, I'm Fred.'"

A pair of women huddling from the rain gape at her. Victoria sometimes wonders why she can't get a mainstream gig. Is it her weight? "It's OK to be a liberal and be fat," she complains. "You've got Oprah, Rosie, you've got Joy Behar, you've got Whoopi, you've got the other ones on The View. [Or] if you're black, you're allowed to be fat, and that's sassy, sexy. But if you're white, you're not really allowed to be fat."

Victoria often blames Democratic policies for her modest, Honda-driving life. Her family lives in a $200,000 townhouse with a concrete dock on a murky green pond. Her husband, now an MDPD helicopter pilot, makes $120,000 annually. But, she says, alimony to the fire-eater left them broke. Public records reveal that, claiming she owed $89,000, Nisan sued her in 1995.

The cash shortage spawned a sad, short stand-up comedy career. In the early '00s, Victoria worked clubs across the country while the couple raised two daughters. She made about $4,000 a weekend, she says. Her material was mostly riffing on hating Miami. She did gigs with SNL alumni Lovitz and Kevin Nealon, as well as forgotten former cast member Joe Piscopo. That last pairing was called "the most depressing Saturday Night Live reunion ever" by The Onion's A.V. Club.

In 2004, she released a self-produced full-length documentary about the grief of being away from her family. It debuted at the Fort Lauderdale International Film Festival. "Nobody watched it," she says. Much of it is close-up footage of her sobbing in hotel beds.

But then she discovered something life-changing: When she talked about Obama being a member of the Muslim Brotherhood, people watched—and cared. Then job offers came.

In 2007, 15 years removed from SNL, she traveled back to Tinseltown for a last-ditch stab at becoming an "airhead on a sitcom." She explains: "I liked the idea of getting $100,000 a week for having five lines that someone else wrote, and I could do airhead better than anyone. That's my specialty! It would be effortless."

Victoria says she knew nothing about politics and rarely voted. But because "everybody in Hollywood is liberal and Jewish," the best way to network was through a cagey group of industry conservatives.

She refuses to name what she calls a "secret organization," but Victoria is clearly talking about Friends of Abe (FOA). Celebrities who have confessed to being among its 1,800-plus members include Pat Boone, Jon Voight, Kelsey Grammer, and Gary Sinise. Started in 2007 by "two guys in their trailer whispering that they respected Bush," Victoria says, it's something like a support group for conservatives who fear being blacklisted for their beliefs.

She joined these new friends at film screenings. They watched Blocking the Path to 9/11, which claimed Bill and Hillary Clinton squelched a muckraking documentary. And then there was Hype, about the radical Chicago connections of then-candidate Obama. For Victoria—though she wouldn't appreciate the metaphor—it was a Malcolm-X-picking-up-the-Koran moment. "This is Orwell! This is 1984!" she says she thought about the movie. "And I was like, 'No!' I gave a copy [of Hype] to my agent. She never thanked me."

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62 comments
heavyshift
heavyshift

Come on. Cut her some slack; she dated 'Weird Al' Yankovic.

Veritas
Veritas

OMG, you liberals are so sick. You would eat your own young if you allowed them to be born in the first place!

Kilgoretrout
Kilgoretrout

She may have fallen on her head too many times while doing her handstand shtick!OR She needs a job and what better a place than So.Florida.

ttt207
ttt207

she been t-bagged one too many times

max
max

Right wing media is the retirement plan for un-funny SNL alums like her and dennis what'shisname. It must be an act no one is this dumb

Boyhell Flower
Boyhell Flower

She is the total american. She reminds me of the true underpinnings of the droves of shabby prep J-Crew, 'There will be blood' retro fashion conformists. the new openly 'white' self obsessed, zombie 'hipsters' in Williamsburg and their parents. The ultimate segregationist tribes person. New York City, L.A., popular culture, and this magazine in a nutshell.

jmkw77
jmkw77

A woman of questionable talent who was quasi-famous about twenty years ago speaking out on matters that are fringe and irrelevant, in my opinion. And yet, and yet, I read every single word of this article. That's some nice story-telling Gus Garcia-Roberts.

Bpfoley333
Bpfoley333

Just to get my biases out front, I tend to find myself on the more conservative side of the political spectrum (conservative meaning a conservative roll for government, not "conservative" small government unless we're regulating your private life ) and for the life of me I don't quite get the point of the article. None of my friends who are on the right have given Victoria Jackson a second thought in years, nor do have they, or I for that matter, ever taken her seriously. It just seems like picking the low-hanging fruit.

ttt207
ttt207

No wonder the 'Pubs are in trouble.

merl1
merl1

I feel sorry for her kids, she will abuse them just like her father abused her. what a bunch of sick fucks.

merl1
merl1

I think the whole thing must be a joke. Her dad doesn't like fat people? is he blind? his own daughter is a porker.

Siskokid888
Siskokid888

Yawn. Your "precious" and "revered" documents were written by wealthy white slaveowners to help themselves and no one else. Using them as some kind of moral standard to justify white conservative bigotry and capitalist exploitation is passé, bro. It's the 21st century, there is a new world coming where the many will benefit, not the few. And what this has to do with the crazy rantings of a washed up never was comidienne is beyond me.

yrwehere
yrwehere

Come on, people, this story is hilarious! As someone else wrote, she is out-Colberting Stephen Colbert! There is no way that she can be serious. She might turn out to be one of the greatest conceptual comics of all time.

anonymouse
anonymouse

Victoria Jackson is just one more example of an individual with deep psychological challenges and a dysfunctional family case history (plus more than her share of stupidity) who has entered the political ring, whether as politician or pundit. These disturbed people continually attempt to influence legislation or public opinion based on their own mental health issues (see closeted gay republican officials, etc.). The 24-hour media, desperate for content, gives them a a public voice they would have been denied in the past (okay, okay, marginal people such as Christian televangelists would sometimes make it through the barriers of sanity imposed by media gatekeepers), but that all came crashing down with the takeover of the news divisions by the entertainment division and the arrival of the internet. What can we do about them, other than ignore them?

Siskokid888
Siskokid888

Yawn. Your "precious" and "revered" documents were written by wealthy white slaveowners to help themselves and no one else. Using them as some kind of moral standard to justify white conservative bigotry and capitalist exploitation is passé, bro. It's the 21st century, there is a new world coming where the many will benefit, not the few. And what this has to do with the crazy rantings of a washed up never was comidienne is beyond me.

Siskokid888
Siskokid888

Yawn. Your "precious" and "revered" documents were written by wealthy white slaveowners to help themselves and no one else. Using them as some kind of moral standard to justify white conservative bigotry and capitalist exploitation is passé, bro. It's the 21st century, there is a new world coming where the many will benefit, not the few. And what this has to do with the crazy rantings of a washed up never was comidienne is beyond me.

Siskokid888
Siskokid888

Yawn. Your "precious" and "revered" documents were written by wealthy white slaveowners to help themselves and no one else. Using them as some kind of moral standard to justify white conservative bigotry and capitalist exploitation is passé, bro. It's the 21st century, there is a new world coming where the many will benefit, not the few. And what this has to do with the crazy rantings of a washed up never was comidienne is beyond me.

Siskokid888
Siskokid888

Yawn. Your "precious" and "revered" documents were written by wealthy white slaveowners to help themselves and no one else. Using them as some kind of moral standard to justify white conservative bigotry and capitalist exploitation is passé, bro. It's the 21st century, there is a new world coming where the many will benefit, not the few. And what this has to do with the crazy rantings of a washed up never was comidienne is beyond me.

Yayagal250
Yayagal250

Excuse me, but this ninny was NOT in "I Love You to Death". I've seen that movie many times, and I'd remember, believe me.

Siskokid888
Siskokid888

^and when the first real fact actually spills out of her insane mouth, we will indeed respect it. But not till then.

Siskokid888
Siskokid888

Six pages to profile this certifiably crazy ditz zero? There are plenty of sane hardworking progressive activists the Voice could be covering. Come on, folks.

bravetruth
bravetruth

Thank you for your comment on this site deep in enemy territory. I wish she said something about Lorne Michael's agenda above and beyond comedy like when he had boss Zucker in backstage to experience the taking down of Sarah Palin, his donations to Dodd, his Obama stroking head writer and fellow tribe member. Chevy Chase has said the liberal agenda superseded the comedy.

TlalocW
TlalocW

Before she went crazy and a few years after her SNL gig, she came to Tulsa on her stand-up tour and did a good job, I thought. She took a picture of her doing a handstand in front of the giant praying hands outside Oral Roberts University, which unfortunately blights the city. I thought she was making fun of it/him, but if she's been pulled in by the Tea Party and dopes like Hannity, I'm sure she's an admirer of his snake-oil salesmanship.

Her reaction to how illegals are going to vote for Obama, "Because... because of cheating!" is the normal flabbergasted type of response you get when you challenge any inane belief from the insane wing of the GOP these days. "What proof do you have he's a Muslim? Because... Because he just is! How do you know he wasn't born in America? Because... because, etc."

observer2
observer2

The scary thing is, there are people out there who believe the crazy things she says.

Matildalee
Matildalee

That's not thinking differently, that's some racist, insane ranting right there.

Fatty
Fatty

It's a shame to have to live in a super-rich country in the awesomest boro of the biggest metropolis, whole world at your fingertips and all that, dressing well eating well fucking well thinking well, but always beneath it all the nagging realization that there are people out there who think differently than you. Like WTF?

Budbear
Budbear

Get over your pompous self, Gary. She loves the attention this article gives her. Anything she says can be translated as,"LOOK AT ME,PLEASE".

Movielover
Movielover

Poor Victoria Jackson. She's desperate for work and recognition, but she's basically just a zero and always was. Now she's older, fat and opening her mouth to say anything is always a mistake for her. Opening her legs wouldn't even get her anywhere now that she's an old sow.

Sally Barry
Sally Barry

That's their poster girl? HAHAHAHAHA! That's as good as it gets for them?? HAHAHAHAHA!!! Well, one has-been celebrity is better than no celebrities at all...HAHAHA!

PFL 1982
PFL 1982

Victoria who? And she was never funny, even 'back in the day'

Ken Smith
Ken Smith

And to think that I once thought this lunatic was funny. Now she is just pathetic. She is exactly the type of fringe nutcase that gives Christians a bad name. I am a Christian and I don't think anything like these people. I am about a liberal as they come politically. Most Christians of this variety forget the second of Jesus' commandments "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." This ONE sentence makes all of the hate that people like this spew so abhorrent to me and convinces me that they really AREN'T Christians at all.

Jacqueline Carlsen
Jacqueline Carlsen

Her father is a homophobe who loves Fred Astaire and Burt Lancaster movies? That's funny.

J Rod
J Rod

I kept waiting for the punch line - like she was trying to Out-Colbert Colbert.

Elvis
Elvis

It's a miracle! She's transmogrifying into Tammy Faye Bakker!

mr_charlie
mr_charlie

these comments just prove that liberalism really is a mental illness

Gunga Dean
Gunga Dean

OK with that family, it explains things, not a lot, but things. I think a few drops on the balance beam explains the rest.

Silkroad
Silkroad

Note to Victoria Jackson:

There is no mainstream market for right-wing, fundamentalist humor in the comedy circuit. That's why you aren't getting any plum gigs.

Note to Village Voice:

Don't ever feature people like Victoria Jackson again. You have a liberal, secular readership, and you should tailor your articles to them.

Lee4
Lee4

@Veritas We are not the ones raising the wife-beaters, bigots, racists, and losers who are bitter they can't get dates, boy.

flyersfan
flyersfan

Unfunny? Dennis Miller was second only to Dan Aykroyd as a WU anchor...On the other hand, I suppose that Jan Hooks was a comic genius? And at least Victoria Jackson was cute.

Glennrferro
Glennrferro

That is an incredibly over-the-top diagnosis of someone because they disgree with you. I continue to notice that when liberals realize that they have nothing substantial to say, they resort to name calling, and attacks on the person, instead of challenges to the ideas. There are so many statements in your post that express staples of liberal ideation, that I'm almost surprised to see them there. Denial, projection, envy? May I make a diagnosis on the basis of some written words, as you did? I'm pretty sure you'd say yours is valid, while there's no chance mine could be, right?

Gary McAleer
Gary McAleer

Bro, your summations do not coincide with the sacrifices made. Go back and study the history man. Read about the lives of EVERY MAN who put his signature on The Declaration of Independence in 1776. They were all raked over the coals, losing lives as well as every possession! Despite these hardships, there was a nobility and dignity that was applied to Constitutional Law that has never been seen before or since. And what's replacing the Constitution in our generation is going to one day make you sick with disdain (you mark my words on this). To know your future you must first know your history: the two go hand in hand. You know, "what goes around comes around!"

In addition, the early Americans didn't have modern climate control, dentistry, or medicine. Washington had to eat with wooden teeth (probably took him months to develop a sufficient callous on his gums before the sharp pains went away. Then the wood wore out; then he had to get new ones). And by the way, when George Washington led our armies to victory he would've been welcomed by every American to become king. He could have started a monarchy! (If he was power hungry like so many today). Instead, he said, "I just want to go home." King George of England said of George Washington: "He's a great man." Why? because King George would never step down from his throne. And neither would the halfwits running our government today if given half a chance; but our Founders established a system preventing the tyranny we see rising today. And that tyranny can only come by the removal of our liberty.

Kaelle
Kaelle

Check IMDB. She is credited, unfortunately.

Guest
Guest

She had the small role of Lacey.

bloodgimp
bloodgimp

Yeah, I have to agree here. I don't see anything remotely interesting about this boring story or this braindead irrelevant woman. Why VV chose to run this as a feature is beyond me.

Budbear
Budbear

Hey! They also have Chuck Norris and Gary Busey. How's that for celebrity firepower, Sally?

Jeff Harris
Jeff Harris

That seems impossible. Tammy Faye was actually quite tolerant towards gays and all people. Ms. Jackson seems to be the anti-Tammy Faye with so much hate in her heart and ignorance in her head. I hope she finds some semblance of peace one day.

bravetruth
bravetruth

Mocking Christians IS tailored to the liberal, secular (jewish) readership

Silkroad
Silkroad

Wow. Nice anti-Semitism there.

 
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