Scary Hipsters


The tattooed, pierced masses of Williamsburg and the L.E.S. already look a little frightening, so it’s always fun to see how much further they’ll go with hip and scary realness for Halloween. Since it fell on Sunday, and most people have day jobs, poor things, many went out Saturday. It seemed that every living (and dead) hipster was headed to PHILIP OH‘s party “The Warriors,” held in a new Williamsburg venue, Supreme Trading. The party took its cue from the movie of the same name and encouraged people to go as gangs of the same character.

On the L train subway platform, I received a standing ovation for my bloody version of Kill Bill‘s THE BRIDE (four months pregnant, wedding dress, gallons of blood, samurai sword) from a gang of DEAD HIPSTERS, who were pasty and pale and wearing puffy jackets and trucker hats. They too, were headed to “The Warriors,” where we saw an entire cheerleading squad shake and shimmy in unison to DJ DAN SELZER‘s post-disco set. Selzer, like DJs DAVE TUROV, JOHN SELWAY, and COWBOY MARK, among others, went dressed as a member of a gang of GIORGIO MORODERS a/k/a MORODER’S MARAUDERS, wearing an open-collared shirt, curly black wig, mustache, and aviator shades, just like the producer on the cover of one of his ’70s records. I e-mailed Moroder for comment, but he was presumably too mortified at the thought of a gang of clones to write back (or maybe he wanted everyone to forget that he ever dressed that way).

If nothing else, the “Warriors” party proved that costumes are even funnier if you multiply them. In the side room, a gang of BOY SCOUTS kicked it with a gang of WALDOS (found, obviously), and a couple of Tron-esque EGYPTIANS in glowing costumes lit the way for everyone else on the darkened dancefloor. One of the two best outfits was worn by a bunch of people in giant pink costumes. We couldn’t tell if they were condoms or penises or what—it turned out they were a gang of SAUSAGES. Close enough. They cavorted with the other best costume—a gang of RUBIK’S CUBES. Unsolved, I might add.

Taking advantage of the extra hour bequeathed to us with the loss of daylight saving time, we drank more alcohol and headed to the Tribeca Grand, where LCD SOUNDSYSTEM were playing a live set to a packed audience that included a very accurate ALI G (red tracksuit, ridiculous bug sunglasses, skull cap), a couple of ROYAL TENENBAUMS, and an imitation AS FOUR with the stupid circle purses. MANDY COON, LCD singer JAMES MURPHY‘s other half, joked prior to Halloween that she’d go as Tribeca Grand music director TOMMY SALEH—shorts, jacket, bald wig, carrying a bottle of champagne, and a fistful of drink tickets. (The real Saleh was dressed as a gangsta.) THE RAPTURE‘s MATTY SAFER, dressed as himself, chided me for missing his set at “The Warriors,” and DJ MAX PASK, who taunted beforehand, “I know you’ve seen a lot, but I bet you’ve never seen a hot dog DJ’ing,” lived up to his promise: He looked like a total wiener. We saw a couple of overdosed UMA THURMANS from Pulp Fiction, but we also ran into ourself in the yellow tracksuit and several of our Kill Bill nemeses, including ELLE DRIVER and GOGO. There is nothing more enjoyable than going to perfect strangers, pointing a sword at them, and shouting, “I kill you!”

House parties, however, are more fun than any club, especially when the party includes a fake CARLOS D. (a woman, too) dressed in the red shirt, black tie, and gun holster; a faux AXL ROSE; and a fantastically accurate PAT BENATAR circa “Love Is a Battlefield,” with the torn whore dress. There was a BLACK-EYED PEA (a man with a black eye and a black shirt with a giant letter P written on it), and a friend dressed as TERESA HEINZ KERRY (business suit, lots of huge $100 bills), handing out packets of Heinz ketchup. The hostess was dressed as BRITNEY SPEARS‘s new ‘ho—um, husband—KEVIN FEDERLINE, wearing a wife beater, baggy pants, a goatee, and a trucker hat, and performing bad ’80s dance moves for authenticity. She reasoned that if any part of her goatee came off, she could easily turn her outfit into JD of LE TIGRE, and just keep the mustache. It was the ultimate scary hipster outfit. She wins.