No Thanks for the Memories


Now that we’ve settled in for the blustery chill of the post-holiday days, we can look back and laugh at all the crying and cringing and craziness the so-called season of togetherness has wrought.

We asked: Here’s a tissue; want to share your holiday horror story?

ALAN SCHER teacher [Santa Rosa, California]

Last winter my mom came out to help my fiancée and me with wedding plans. She stayed at our place. I love my mom. And I loved my fiancée, and we all loved our dear dog, Barnabus. So, what could be bad? The short story: Barnabus was a biter. Maybe the stuffed animals he decapitated should have been a sign. He bit my fiancée in the face, badly. She wanted to spend time with just me and sweet, biting Baby B before we put him to sleep. My fiancée made my mom leave. We put the dog to sleep. I was sad. Then my fiancée left me. No dog, no mom, no love . . .

YVANY PEERY writer [Manhattan]

We were supposed to go to Jamaica. He’s German. It’s two days before we were supposed to leave—two Christmases ago—my aunt dropped dead on Christmas Eve, and I had to go to Chicago for the funeral, and he dumped me. I don’t like the holidays. I don’t like to be forced to be happy. Or sad. But I had fun on New Year’s Day. I took his money for the ticket (I told him it was $600 instead of $300), and I took a friend instead. So I had fun. In Jamaica! With friends.

MANUEL J. doorman-student [Queens]

I’m a doorman in a nice building, and the kids that live here are great, and my bosses are great, but still—it’s Christmas Eve, and I’m working overnight. The money is good, but it’s not warm. It’s hard to watch all the people on their way out or in to see their family or whoever, when I have to sit here at this desk. I’ll be home in time for Christmas morning, I guess. My family’s in Mexico, so I’ll be by myself. But it’ll be nice. And relaxing.

LAUREN PODOLNICK children’s book reviewer [Brooklyn]

Yeah, my worst holiday was when some reporter came up to me on the street, took my photo, and asked me what my worst holiday ever was.