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Environmental inspectors just want to see if their homes have dangerous poison gases — left over from old “dry-cleaning plants, foundries and other manufacturers” — floating up from the ground and into their homes. But many property owners in toxin-rich Greenpoint have blown off their requests, afraid their homes will be condemned or devalued, says the New York Times, so only a fraction of the homes — 12 out of 58 in last winter’s group — have been inspected. Though state officials tell the Times that “residents do not even have to leave the property during the day or two it takes to fix the problem,” no one (except some people with kids) trusts the government, so residents will probably continue to simmer in the toxic stew until they grow extra limbs. Live free and die!