Don’t worry if you’ve been laid off, your kid’s school has closed, your neighborhood’s community center has had to shut down, your bank (revitalized by your tax money) is pestering you to turn over your home, the prices of booze and cigarettes have gone up again, subway fares are soaring, you couldn’t afford to buy more than lumps of coal for your Christmas stocking, Bernie Madoff stole your gelt.
Taking the sting out of that: The Yanks signed Mark Texeira for $180 million in guaranteed money.
The local rags reported the great news as breathlessly as any hometown hack hinterlands newspaper would. From the Daily News:
Teixeira’s contract pays him $22.5 million a year and includes a $5 million signing bonus as well as a no-trade clause. Together with Sabathia, Alex Rodriguez, and Derek Jeter, the Yankees have the four highest-paid players in baseball.
Rodriguez will make $32 million this year and (for now) gets to fuck Madonna.
You — and ordinary New Yorkers like you — helped make it all possible with hundreds of millions of dollars in public subsidies and free land. Take some pride in that. Even if you can’t afford tickets to the games. Give yourself a pat on the back.
You also made New York Mets owner Fred Wilpon happy; the Mets got public money for their new stadium, making it possible for them to afford their new players.
But Wilpon wasn’t as lucky as Alex Rodriguez. Fred got fucked, but it was Bernie Madoff who turned the trick and it cost Fred $500 million.
Aside from that, more good news for the rich people you subsidize: If you’re one of those people who rents from city slumlord Isaac Toussie, raise a toast to him: George W. Bush just granted him a pardon.
Put a bucket under those drips and click on these …
NO PARTICULAR ORDER:
Washington Post: ‘The Dispirit of Christmas Present’
Ordinarily when the Times traffics in a trend story, it indemnifies itself by quoting a skeptic on the other side of the issue or it tosses off a “to be sure” paragraph noting the weakness of its anecdotal evidence. Not here. Given this leap of faith, let’s hope the Times isn’t looking into the existence of Santa Claus. Imagine the headline: “Despite Naysayers, Hundreds of Millions Believe in St. Nick.”
Slate: ‘Blago’s Legal Eagles’
Wall Street Journal: ‘Madoff Scheme
Takes New Toll’
Earliest suspicions now date back to ’91.
N.Y. Post: ‘EX-BROKER FACES “HEDGE HOG” RAP’
Kosta Kovachev, who lost his broker’s license after being implicated in a time-share Ponzi scheme, is accused of impersonating various real-estate execs as part of Dreier’s elaborate scam to sell hedge funds phony promissory notes, according to the feds.
Kovachev, 57, and Dreier reportedly sneaked into the Manhattan offices of Solow Realty to meet with hedge-fund representatives in October. During that meeting, Kovachev pretended to be the company’s controller, according to a Manhattan federal court complaint.
L.A. Times: ‘Chinese seek to pull cats from the menu’
Wall Street Journal: ‘Obama, Two Aides Questioned in Probe’
N.Y. Post: ‘PITY PONZI-POOR PENNEY’
Washington Post: ‘SEC Chair Defends His Restraint’
N.Y. Post: ‘CITY BIGS FACE DEUTSCHE GRILL’
N.Y. Daily News: ‘Suicide not a shock to other Madoff victims’
Washington Post: ‘Madoff Investor Found Dead in Office’
His fund enlisted intermediaries with links to the cream of Europe’s high society to garner clients.
Among them was Philippe Junot, a French businessman and friend who is the former husband of Princess Caroline of Monaco.
De la Villehuchet, the former chairman and chief executive of Credit Lyonnais Securities, also was known as a keen sailor who regularly participated in regattas and was a member of the New York Yacht Club.
N.Y. Post: ‘GOOD, BAD AND UGLY IN CITY CRIME STATS’
American Forces Press Service: ‘Commander in Chief Recalls His “Great Days”‘
McClatchy: ‘Flaunting, sales of luxury goods down’
Washington Post: ‘Shoe-Thrower Is Called Defiant’
Telegraph (U.K.): ‘Pope says humanity needs “saving” from homosexuality’
N.Y. Times: ‘Betrayed by Madoff, school adds lesson’
Guardian (U.K.): ‘Animal rights activists still target lab’