Cheek, in Review: 7 Days of Runnin’ Scared


The Albany Coup, Week 2: It started with a shock twist as Hiram Monserrate rejoined the Democrats, putting the state senate in a 31-31 deadlock. The Dems optimistically declared new leader John Sampson the president pro tem. (Just to be on the safe side they sued, but were rejected.) The Republicans wouldn’t lie down for them, though, so the Dems offered them a power-sharing deal. Pedro Espada said he didn’t need it — because he had two votes, as he was both senator and interim lieutenant governor. Democrats responded by getting district attorneys to hurry their exisiting investigations of Espada’s malfeasances — including the alleged beating of a reporter. After a brief pretense of cooperation, the senators took an early weekend, justly embarrassed at accomplishing nothing except a new low in representative democracy.

The state assembly, meanwhile, stayed hard on the job — and they wanted you to know about it.

Mayor Bloomberg raised the sales tax; the budget was balanced and the rich escaped unscathed. As usual everyone kissed his ass. Well, not everyone.

Rightbloggers and friends went on a politically correct rampage against the word-rapist of Sarah Palin‘s daughters, David Letterman. Letterman apologized for his jokes twice and she finally accepted, but her supporters turned out by the dozens to demand Letterman’s death. Andrea Peyser tried to take down Conan O’Brien singlehandedly.

Iran‘s election didn’t go over so well; Americans twittered in support. Calvin Klein‘s sexy billboard scandalized SoHo. A nutrition marketer/mom was a pain in our ass. Coney Island went one step closer to ruin. A guy dressed as his dead mother for money! A 1986 murder was, it seemed, solved.

Road Rage Capital of America, bitches!

Someone Got Murdered on East New York Avenue, 15th Avenue, Throop Avenue and Madison, Hinsdale Street, and Dean Street in Brooklyn; 198th and Creston in the Bronx; 159th and St. Nicholas and 129th and St. Nicholas in Manhattan; and Jamaica Avenue in Queens.

Once again, that’s a lot. And a baby boy drowned in a mop bucket.

Senator John Ensign confessed an affair. Ed Koch went to the hospital. Billy Joel lost a wife. Hillary Clinton broke her elbow. A pilot died mid-air.

Crap of the good kind: Alan Scherstuhl read Pro-Sumer Power! and You’re Asking Me?

Crap of the bad kind: We disliked the new Taking of Pelham 123 and worried that it would inspire copycats.

The New York Times misread a crushing kink, worried about the (surprisingly good) state of music education, and talked us out of giving up our seat to the so-called “disabled.”

Wayne Barrett caught Sheldon Silver pushing mayoral control through the assembly and Charles Schumer dissembling (gasp!). Allen Barra explained the Mets-Yankees series and why you’re only hearing about Sammy Sosa‘s drugs now. In addition to his excellent Espada items, Tom Robbins did a background check on new Dem big John Sampson. Elizabeth Dwoskin court-watched the Craigslist gun sale suit, a kid burned in a voodoo ritual, and the Rubashkins. Graham Rayman followed the Rabbi Jail scandal, and was all over Obama’s Inspector General Problem. Candice Giove got hold of a lobbyist’s plan to screw a supermarket and Emily Brady shed a tear for Staten Island schoolkids.

We celebrated Puerto Rican Day and Bloomsday. Now we celebrate Friday. Bye.