F2K is a countdown of the 50 worst songs of the decade. Track our progress here.
Our record label is so stupid! Can you believe they actually called us on the phone and told us our album needed a single? The nerve of the people who write us enormous checks that we don’t even remotely deserve! How dare they expect a pop band signed to a 10-album deal to be “marketable” and turn a “profit.” Those fucking leeches! Besides, don’t those stuffed-shirt fat-cat assholes at Epic know that the lights are kept on by the low tones of Fieldy’s bass, and not because they pay “money” to the “electric company”? Even the phrase “electric company” sounds made up. What are those clowns doing?
So yeah, firstly they don’t know we’re real artists. Remember that “These nuts on your lips/Kentucky fried kung-pao clits” song on Life Is Peachy? You think lyrics like that just pop in your head? No way, man. Laser-guided inspiration from the gods. That’s why we spent four million dollars to record Untouchables. Because albums take time, take effort and require five separate houses for us to “zone” out in.
Because our label is such dense, we’ve decided to be pissy about it in a way that makes us look rebellious to our fans but not acidic enough to potentially sour any business relationships.
We had our lead singer explain it to MTV News:
“It’s all about how it seems like kids are fed what is cool. They don’t really have a brain to search and see what’s going on with music. I’m just saying if kids are really into music then they go and do that, but if they are just everyday Joe, then music is fed to them.”
See! Labels are evil, our fans are dipshits, and “Ya’ll Want A Single” is our Dogme95. Check out its lyrics! It’s a stripped down, highly polemic, incendiary rant!
“Ya’ll want a single say fuck that, fuck that, fuck that.”
[Repeat 50 times]
We’re like the Clash and shit. In the video we smash up a record store! And flash messages on the screen like Rage Against The Machine–you know, that band whose sound we aped and dumbed down so we could have marketable singles? Oops.