As you know, Alaska’s sweethearts Levi Johnston and Bristol Palin have reunited and were sensible enough to tell Us Weekly about it before informing ma, Sarah Palin.
If you’re in need of a capsule summary of their wretched affair so far:
Levi knocked Bristol up, and Sarah had to spray air freshener on her failed family values by rushing them into a marriage and saying that was the plan all along.
But it never happened, and the result was a bitter breakup and a teen unwed mother — the kind of thing Sarah generally finds equal to the devil, but way more hygienically messy.
On his own, Levi courted the gay market by posing for Playgirl, then lost that entire audience when he refused to show his privates.
So now — after mutual recriminations and tabloid baiting — he’s back with Bristol and we’re supposed to go “Aw!”
Lord knows how much the guy got paid to come back to the fold — hopefully more than he got for that spread — where he is now vigorously endorsing Palin family values and even vowing they won’t have sex until they get married because Bristol’s message, after all, is abstinence.
Can it get any sicker?
The only Palin I feel any sympathy for at this point is their poor baby.