Last week, there was a bank robbery at the Capital One branch on 23rd and Ninth. This was a special robbery, in that the guy managed to pull it off brandishing a potted plant instead of a gun, and still brought home over two grand. Yesterday, he was at it again, except this time with a lovely bouquet of flowers. The clerk held at bouquet-point was one lucky lady!
The Horti-Robber arrived at the Bank of Smithtown on 18th street and Seventh Avenue yesterday morning bearing a thoughtful arrangement of chrysanthemums, daisies, gladiola buds, and baby’s breath in his left hand, and a stickup note in his right.
“Gives me all your hundreds, fifties — don’t be a hero,” the Post quotes him as saying. The teller handed him $440 with a dye pack, and he left, leaving his bouquet behind (proving that chivalry is not, in fact, dead). The dye pack exploded and he left it, while taking the money. Cops are inspecting the flowers for evidence (ha).
We originally thought the bouquet was for hiding a gun, or something. But actually, it was just a bouquet. And before, when the Horti-Robber held up the Capital One branch, it was really just with a potted plant. This guy is good. Police are identifying him as roughly 5′ 9” and wearing a blue T-shirt and jeans.
What will he strike with next? Chocolates? A personalized mixed CD? A romantic dinner? Only time will tell, but this one might be a keeper.
This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on July 20, 2010