Even though America loves a shitshow, and has every right to do so, we think this particular shitshow has gone on too long. Watching Charlie Sheen flame out again has been amusing, in part, but, much like his porn stars, we’ve taken to hiding in the bathroom and cringing. That is to say, we’ve come to desire a rapid end of our time with him for a number of reasons. Among his crimes:
Yes, watching him is akin watching a trainwreck, and it’s hard to pull yourself away from the spectacle. So, fine, keep watching him, preferably in clips from Men at Work and Major League. But the man has 2 million Twitter followers. Isn’t enough enough? Can’t we all just commit to the itsy bitsy task of unfollowing him? We did. It felt…good. We’re pretty sure we won’t miss it.
Take this random sampling of @charliesheen mentions. Scary.
Thus, we propose to make this Friday, March 11, Worldwide Unfollow Charlie Sheen on Twitter Day. Think of the message we will send! Power to the people. If Charlie Sheen loses even 5 followers, well, that’s 5 followers who won’t retweet him. And if we don’t care what Charlie Sheen is doing, we will stop talking about him and talk about something else. Anything else. If no one can hear a bitchin’ rockstar tweet, does anyone care? Ask yourself that, and then hit “unfollow.” It’s so easy.
Hey, some people didn’t write about Sarah Palin for a month. That’s what we call sacrifice. You can at least do this little bit to help humanity.
Also: Apparently it was the best month of their lives.
UPDATE: Charlie Sheen was just fired from his highly successful horrible sitcom. Let this be the incentive you need! Make it a clean break, unfollow! Or take the suggestion of some of our commenters and block. As individuals, we can all make a difference. Hey, here are 15 other people to follow on Twitter. Because we care.
This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on March 7, 2011