According to everyone (and Tina Fey), Ikea is the number one place to have relationship-testing arguments, ones that start as soon as you crest the escalator and are only broken for refueling with the meatball special. But for our money, the ideal spot for “who are you, nightmare person whose appalling taste is actually ruining my life?” fights is the Gowanus Home Depot. The massive scale of the place offers a sense of isolation and near privacy impossible to find in always-crowded Ikea; in the suburban-size store’s enormous aisles, you can fully engage in the inevitable battle of wills with your partner, in which one of you hollers and the other, terrifyingly, quietly hisses. The store is even big enough that you can take a timeout and find you’ve each walked off your anger by the time you reach your opposing corners. Better to get your rage out in the store, where you can take a breather, come back, and reconsider your position that Prophetic Sea is the only acceptable color for the bathroom and anyone who thinks otherwise is a monster.
550 Hamilton Avenue, Brooklyn
This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on October 19, 2016