iVoice: Britney Spears and Adnan Ghalib, the IM Chat!

 

SpearsAndLoathing: what if i brought out a bear cub on a leash and just started bitin’ it until it died

**OnlineHost** Welcome to Britney Spears Spycam Chat!
 SpearsAndLoathing: oh mah gaw i bet the paparazzi wouldn’t let me just live my life then, would they
 SheikAdnan: No, Brit Brit, they wouldn’t!
 SpearsAndLoathing: what if i put lil jayden in my mouth an then stuck muh head in the head of a crocodile, i bet they would do anything for that picture, huh
 SpearsAndLoathing: /personality change

ooooh mah darling babies, come give momma a hug darling babies!!

 SheikAdnan: You froze your children in carbonite and sold them to the Hutt, my darling flower.
 SpearsAndLoathing: oh mah fuckin’ gaw what is a fuckin’ hutt why won’t you leave me aloneeeee

/personality change

/personality change

 

 SheikAdnan: It’s a fictional character from the Star Wars films, honey, I don’t even know if carbonite is an actual thing.
 SheikAdnan: I was just trying to be funny. You actually left them in the charge of the cast of Moesha.
 SpearsAndLoathing: /pulls out breast

oh you want me don’t you that’s why you been across the club tryin’ to make me laugh

 SheikAdnan: what
 SpearsAndLoathing: /breathes heavily for several minutes

 

 SpearsAndLoathing: where is my son daniel
 SheikAdnan: I think you’re thinking of Anna Nicole Smith
 SpearsAndLoathing: where is my trimspa i need a fix trimspa babyyyy

like my bodddddy

want some muuuuuhney

 SheikAdnan: also anna nicole smith
 SpearsAndLoathing: why am i currently filming the film “the naked gun 33 1/3” ??
 SheikAdnan: Brot-brot I think you’re tired, maybe you should lie down. You’ve had a hard day of getting into cars and walking from that car to a different one.
 SpearsAndLoathing: why are

/personality change
/personality change
/personality change

BACK UP OFF ME BOY

 SheikAdnan: Honey, calm down, I’m giving you my direct attention! Look! I’m looking right at you! Attention! You have it!
 SpearsAndLoathing: ohhhh

/opens legs
/every satellite in orbit stars going off

the music has got me a rhythm, ready for action, music has got me a missionary position, of sex

 SpearsAndLoathing: /inadvertantly creates hit song
 SpearsAndLoathing: WHO ARE YOU, WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOME, GET OUTTT
 SheikAdnan: Do it again, but as Alex Rodriguez
 SpearsAndLoathing: BOY I SWURR

/personality change

 SpearsAndLoathing: /opens umbrella

Oy say guv-nah, what a spot of tea we’re ‘avin today, innit

 SheikAdnan: okay, I’m gonna go watch some TV, you want to go to bed afterwards
 SpearsAndLoathing: yeah all right
 SpearsAndLoathing: hey, how much more mileage do you think I can get out of having worn a school girl outfit once when I was a teenager?
 SheikAdnan: I don’t know, but if it was a fossil fuel it could drive me to the moon on a fucking quarter-tank.
 SpearsAndLoathing: Oh look, 30 Rock is on, I like this show, this is a funny show.

/eats cheeto

 BritneysPeers: snap snap snap snap snap snap snap snap
 SpearsAndLoathing: /price is right loser noise
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