MTA Prepares to Unveil Newer, Fatter Subway Map

The MTA will release a new subway map next month, and it seems, just like people (except not New Yorkers, you know, because we do all that walking), Manhattan has expanded in girth over the years. At least we’ve eradicated that awful pear shape of the ’50s, and the blockish (brick house?) physique we attempted to pull off in the early ’70s.

Along with discussing the rest of the upcoming changes to our daily commuting bible, The New York Times has a revealing little diagram of our proportions over the years:

(Note that Staten Island, however, has been put on a diet; it’s half the size in the new version.)

In other changes, you’ll see that parks are no longer green like lush grass but “olive,” just like flora during a water ration. The water itself, however, is more deeply blue (better for hiding the floaters), and the subway lines have kind of a funky 3-D shadowing effect to make them stand out, or to make you hallucinate. City Islanders will rejoice because they’re back on the map. I guess someone at the MTA figured out that people actually live there?

While our eyes vastly prefer the old map, maybe it’s because it’s so cozy and familiar, like an old shoe? In time we’re sure we’ll get used to the new one. It is, at least, nice and clean-looking with all that extra bus info removed at the bottom, which also gives more room for Brooklyn and Queens to gain a little weight.

Unimpressed? There will also be a pared-down version for subway cars.