Sadly, Dolph Lundgren’s ‘Don’t Kill It’ Just Ain’t Killing It

Dolph Lundgren, who holds degrees in chemistry from universities on three different continents and once received a Fulbright scholarship to MIT, could probably spend his time doing whatever he wants as he nears his 60th birthday. That he continues to star in low-rent genre fare is charming in its way, but that doesn’t make movies like Don’t Kill It any better.

His latest begins with a camo-clad hunter going on an ultra-graphic killing spree moments after being attacked by his dog, the man’s transformation marked by eyes gone fully black and an unconvincing primal scream. We don’t know how, we don’t know why, but the former Ivan Drago is destined to stop whatever madness has inspired these vicious murders.

The actor at times seems to hover just above the material, aware of its silliness but willing the indulge it all the same. The sight of Lundgren vaping and ranting about supernatural murders with a Southern twang almost makes everything else — namely, a transmissible mania that instantly passes from the afflicted killer to whoever kills him or her — worth it, but anyone hoping for more than a VOD time-killer that’s occasionally in on the joke of its own ridiculousness is barking up the wrong tree.

Those who favor gore above all else will be at home amid the blood and guts, but others should heed the obvious warning invited by the title: don’t watch it.

Don’t Kill It

Directed by Mike Mendez

Archstone Distribution

Opens March 3, Cinema Village