Study: Canned Food Might Make You Impotent

Scientists have discovered another reason why those empty cans of SpaghettiO’s littering your mom’s basement apartment won’t get you laid: Something in the packaging could make you impotent.

Researchers from the Harvard School of Public Health fed human subjects canned food for a five-day period, The Atlantic reports.

They wanted to measure how much BPA — a chemical released from metal cans and plastic bottles — actually wound up in the human guinea pigs’ systems, as the substance is linked to health problems ranging from diabetes to cancer to erectile dysfunction.

What the scientists found: Urine samples from the 75 volunteers showed that eating a can of soup per day prompts a 1,221 percent increase in BPA levels.

Researchers don’t know whether the upswing lasts long-term.

Still, they think that in-depth trials are necessary to figure out how the chemical affects human health.

“We’ve known for a while that drinking beverages that have been stored in certain hard plastics can increase the amount of BPA in your body,” lead author Jenny Carwile told reporters. “This study suggests that canned foods may be an even greater concern, especially given their wide use.”