Ted Allen Makes Pretentious Foodie Bullshit


Ted Allen is certainly a skilled cook, given that he hosts Chopped and was the culinary expert on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. But his true culinary specialties are “stupid, over-elaborate, fancy-ass” meals, as his recent appearance on The Onion News Network can attest.

In the video, Allen parodies cooking demos like those on Today and Good Morning America by preparing “the most expensive piece of fish” dredged in chopped nuts “you’ve never heard of.” Because, you know, that’s what your “pretentious, dickhead” friends enjoy. All in all, an excellent portrait of contemporary American gastronomy.