By Steve Weinstein
By Devon Maloney
By Tessa Stuart
By Alison Flowers
By Albert Samaha
By Jesse Jarnow
By Eric Tsetsi
By Raillan Brooks
THE DECADE'S 10 SHADIEST PEOPLE TO AVOID AT ALL COSTS
1—Karl Rove: The brains behind the brainless.
2—Bernie Madoff: A huge pain in the asset management.
3—Jim McGreevey: "I'm a gay American." Yeah, with an unqualified boy toy on the payroll.
4—Tiger Woods: He went clubbing—and so did the wife.
5—Carrie Prejean: Gays should have fixed up all her hair.
6—Balloon boy's father: He had the world chasing an empty balloon as he ran after hollow fame.
7—Octomom: Implanted embryos pop out of her and right toward an agent's office.
8—Levi Johnston: Much ado about two unseen inches.
10—Mark Sanford: He would have seemed sleazier if McGreevey hadn't preceded him.
THE DECADE'S 10 WORST COUPLES
2—Brangelina: She was more interesting when she was a wild child—and so was Angelina.
3—Janet Jackson's breasts: I wish one of them hadn't popped out on TV, leading to mass hysteria and crackdowns.
5—Britney and K-Fed: Thank God he's now Fed-ex.
6—Jon and Kate: Plus idiocy.
7—Mackenzie Phillips and Dad: Gave consensual incest a bad name.
9—Madonna and Jesus: What's going to happen when she's 80 and he's 12?
THE DECADE'S 10 WORST MOVIES
1—Gigli (2003): When J. Lo said, "Gobble, gobble," you knew it was a turkey.
2—Glitter (2001): Didn't get first place only because it provided some much-needed giggles right after 9/11.
3—Battlefield: Earth (2000): A sci-fi thriller about a complete wasteland—namely, the mind of L. Ron Hubbard.
4—The Master of Disguise (2002): Dana Carvey played Pistachio Disguisey. Need I say more?
5—Norbit (2007): Came out just in time to ruin Eddie Murphy's Oscar chances for Dreamgirls.
6—Spinning Into Butter (2007): A limp drama that spun a good topic into piping-hot dreck.
8—Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002): I didn't see it, but neither did anyone else, except for critics who uniformly called it a WMD.
9—Fly Me to the Moon (2008): It was in 3-D, so you spent the movie swatting flies away in between dozing off.
10—Chocolat (2000): Would-be whimsy that made my stomach hurt and my teeth ache.