News & Politics

What Falwell Really Meant

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I really believe that the pagans, and the
abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the
lesbians…the A.C.L.U., People for the American Way,
all of them who have tried to secularize America, I
point the finger in their face and say, “You helped
this happen.

—Jerry Falwell, September 13th, on The 700 Club
about last week’s terrorist attacks


I sincerely regret that comments I made…were taken
out of their context.

—Jerry Falwell, September 14

Nine Possible Contexts:


1. “…NOT.”


2. “You know, I’m really high right now, so this may
not make any sense, but…”


3. “Keeping in mind that today is Opposites Day, I
emphasize that…”


4. “My son showed me this cool thing on Alta Vista,
where you type something in English and then have the
computer translate it into French and then into
Spanish and then into German and then back to
English—it’s kinda like ‘Telephone,’ you know?—and something that made sense at the beginning will
come out sounding like…”


5. “If an infinite number of monkeys typed on an
infinite number of typewriters, one of them would
write…”


6. “I want to take a break from the grim events of
this week, and salute the brave people who’ve spent
years making America a better and more tolerant place.
Who’s done this, who’s helped this happen? Well, I’ll
tell you: …”


7. “An insane man off camera is pointing a gun at my
head and forcing me to read this statement. Quote,…”


8. “Please join me in praying that, in the wake of
this horrific tragedy, Christ’s message of peace will
prevail, our entire country can unite in compassion,
not aggression, and that no misguided person will
state…”


9. “I truly believe that if Osama bin Laden had been
born in America, right now he’d be saying…”