I’m the last one to know whether someone looks good or not. I’ve congratulated people on losing lots of weight when it turns out they were actually stricken with a terminal illness. Conversely, I’ve told various female friends I was thrilled about their obvious pregnancies only to find out, whoops, that they weren’t pregnant at all. So I have no idea if designer Karl Lagerfeld looks better having shed 80 fabulous pounds. (Utterance to self: He looks like sunglassed attitude on a stick!) But I’m amused to learn that in his upcoming book, The Karl Lagerfeld Diet (cowritten with his dietician, Dr. Jean-Claude Houdret), the Lag reveals that it was pretty much the tyrranny of fashion itself that made him shed the poundage. “Although I was overweight,” personality-drenched Karl writes, “I had gotten along fine and had no health problems. But I suddenly wanted to dress differently, to wear clothes designed by Hedi Slimane…” [Sidebar: Hey, ain’t that his boyfriend? Did he crave Hedi’s clothes because they’re comp?] “But these fashions, modeled by very, very slim boys—and not men of my age—required me to lose at least 80 pounds.” So he did! And now the little problem solver can effortlessly sport couture for skinny young boys and look totally fabulous except for the really old face on top!
Lagerfeld’s rules to look like him? Everything from “Give yourself orders as if you were a young army recruit” to “There is no hurry.” (Lord knows that’s always been MY motto.) In fact, it took Karl 13 long months to drop the tonnage and look like a Germanic Olsen twin with a smirk. But it was worth it—and I’m sure he didn’t mind gaining the book contract as a result.