New York

Cam’Ron Disses Jay-Z: Welcome to Cam’Rock, You Pathetic Bastards



“I think I just made a pretty big mistake”

Why? (Besides So Suckers Like Me and You Can Blow This Out of Proportion)

Five reasons (apparently there are 150):

1. “You stole Roc-A-Fella from Dame.”
2. “You stole Kanye from Dame.”
3. “You stole Rocawear from Dame.”
4. “I seen that nigga throw that diamond up before them shots was fired.”
5. “How’s the King of New York rocking sandals with jeans?”

The track’s called “You Got It” or “You Got to Love it” or “You Gotta Love it” depending on what you read, close to eight minutes, plastic Dipset horn synths, with a bunch of good media tie-ins, including Killa Season in April and a March XXL cover story in which Cam addresses #s 1-3 so he can concentrate on #5 here and, among other things, make mathematical errors w/r/t Jay’s age and HRC.

The audacity is the appeal here, I guess, slaying the sacred cow or whatever, and good for these two businessmen to push hip-hop’s wrestlemania=$$$ buttons, because they totally still work, yeah man. Also Hand it to Cam for realizing before the rest of us (not) that Jay-Z looks like Joe Camel, and “Tell O. Jay-Z chill, Cochran is dead” will on-board anybody who’s still a little angry about The Chase interrupting that super-tense Duke game.

That’s it, really–otherwise this track’s some really sad, pathetic shit from Killa, still sour grapes over vetoed VP and Prez appointments, but even that’s not something we get off the diss. No, this is about calling Jay-Z a bad dresser. This is about saying “you ugly, dog” and bringing up pre-Reasonable Doubt days, “you Jaz-O’s son” (who cares?). Worst, potentially the most ridiculous thing Cam’s ever said, this is about complaining how Jay-Z, a rapper, stole lines from Biggie–decrying the sample (both quote and sound) after we’ve been through this discussion, like, a billion times, not to mention that Cam is also technically a rapper. He might as well bring up how baby Jay-Z used to shit his diaper.

Sit it in a pamper!

Already I’ve been told by a few people not to be curmudgeonly about this, not to flip out because the track’s “not clever enough for you, Sylvester.” In other words, this isn’t a rap, it’s a commercial, and how good/thought-out the track is comes second to how successfully the track puts Cam back into public consciousness.

Sorry assholes, this ain’t Cnet, and even if it was Cnet, this track is bad product, phoned-in, cobbled together, poorly edited, with mistakes and stumbles (“slam… grand slam your ass, pardon me”) so painfully audible you really have to wonder–if Cam’s really angry about Jay-Z, sitting on all this bile for years now, couldn’t he have put something together a little nastier? “You got anthrax over there, and we George Bush.” Really? Rewind six months, Game got kicked out of G-Unit, and even he put together something with bigger teeth, more interesting, and yes, “clever” and “interesting” and all the other words people who give a shit use when they mean that a record transcends its productness and becomes *cough* art.

Bad beginnings, and according to Cam there are going to be 15 rounds, a “Trapped in the Closet 2006” for the “streets” (the internet). “I don’t respect my elders / I respect the hustlers plus the grinders and the sellers”–but for two rappers who take turns inciting Blogtown’s late-night elephant walks with new tracks and features, I expect much more of a style war, clash of ideologies, less Beyonce. I wouldn’t be surprised if Jay avoids this entirely–so half-assed a diss doesn’t deserve a reply.

The night’s early, but I still haven’t seen anybody say a single thing about Cam’s Reason #4–the second time he’s spoken about the DC shooting, incriminating Jay-Z maybe? As the track played on I was hoping Cam would have more on that, since that’s a potentially huge development in a story he’s been curiously mum on. A revelation like that would have exonerated so mediocre a diss, but Cam never gets back to it, probably because there’s nothing to it anyway. The suggestion of it is enough though. He’s throwing it all out there, hoping something strikes the right nerve, and guess what, something probably will, and we’ll all eagerly await the response, and we’re all the lamer for it.

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