Clay Aiken raises his eyebrows in “an arch, queeny way.” That’s one of the things we learn in this week’s enjoyable New York Magazine profile of the singer, along with the fact that he’s widely assumed to be gay and also doesn’t have a social life. “The only reason people go to bars is to get drunk and have sex,” moans Aiken to reporter Ariel Levy. “To me, bars are what hell is like.” Yeah, that’s why he trolls around online! The article doesn’t mention Clay’s much tabloided hookup with John Paulus, but it does make a nod to Clay’s affection for his beloved mama—a huge gay signifier, second only to owning a boxed set of Glenn Close films. By the way, Clay—who looks like a lesbian—is in town to play Lady of the Lake, I mean Sir Robin, in Spermalot, I mean Spamalot.