No foodstuff of the last decade has been more talked about–and obsessed over–than bacon. While previous generations of food fanciers may have eaten it with eggs, laid it over burgers, and lovingly made BLTs out of it, we’ve taken bacon into an entirely different realm.
In fact, over the last couple of years, we’ve seen bacon ice cream, bacon wrapped around dates, bacon cheesecake, bacon biscuits and bread, and bacon mac-and-cheese. But our bacon worship doesn’t end there. Dozens of artisanal bacons are available in area markets, restaurants cure their own bacon, and I even have friends who smoke bacon in the backyard. You can buy bacon belts and bacon billfolds, and dab on bacon perfume. Is there any end to our enjoyment of streaky-with-fat smoked pork belly?
Apparently not! Now we have bacon-flavored candy to fill out our smokey portfolio. Uncle Oinker’s Savory Bacon Mints is one variety, made in China for Accoutrements, of Seattle. While the back of the tin features a photo of bacon, the mints themselves look like any typical breath mints–small, round, and deathly white. The predominant flavor is sugar sweetness, with a faint bacon flavor–well, artificial bacon flavor–floating on top like scum on a pond. Let me point out that there’s no actual bacon involved, so this product is safe for vegetarians. The mints are a poor substitute for the real thing, but if you’re nowhere near a stove and a boutique market, these mints will have to do.
The same company is responsible for Bacon Beans, a bacon-flavored jelly bean deposited in an elongated tin with undulant sides made to look like a piece of bacon. The tin is actually quite attractive, making the jelly beans a superior gift to the breath mints. The jelly beans themselves are pink, indicating that no effort was made, once again, to make the candy actually look like bacon. After eating one of these godawful candies, I’m tossing the beans, and keeping the tin.